suchen; no hearts, no beats, just love (1/3) [Oneshot]

[darkyulate]

Title: no hearts, no beats, just love
Pairing: Chen/Suho
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 20,115
Summary: When his uncle gifts him an android for his birthday, Jongdae learns more about life than he's ever known in his 21 years of living.
Warnings: I tried smut, nudity, mentions of sex androids, cursing
Notes: First, I'd like to thank mara_ciro & kyurisyeol for helping me come up with this wonderful fic. Without them, I wouldn't have gotten the happy ending I seriously tried to push. I would also like to thank wykedpanda for being a great person who beta-ed this monster for me. Thank you so much guys! Without you guys, this fic wouldn't be what it is today. Last but not the least, to the special friend this fic is dedicated to, I hope you find some happiness in this gift ^^.

one Jongdae blinks as he loses the battle of staring he has with his ceiling. His eyes burn from holding open for so long and he blinks a couple more times to give them the relief they're screaming for. He whimpers as he turns in his bed and brings the covers over his head. If Jongdae doesn't think of something else to do, memories upon memories will flash before his eyes and he'll start to cry once more. The pinpricks of tears against his closed eyes is already a sign. His throat burns with the need to hold back and he takes a stuttering breath to calm himself down. He shuts his eyes harder in hopes of successfully pushing the tears back. One tear slips and he sobs out as uncontrollable droplets follow after one another. His throat constricts as he cries out, shouting and gripping his blanket tighter around himself. His ears become deaf to the sounds that he makes and the only thing ringing in them is the sound of a soft voice whispering words only his memories make. He cries even harder, screams even louder, anything to drown out the voice that taunts him in his sleepless state. "Stop!" Jongdae screams, over and over again. His voice feels hoarse, broken and tired—perfectly mimicking the current state of his heart. Jongdae tries to fill his mind with meaningless thoughts and avoids counting the hours he’s wasted in his room. However, the memories won't stop flooding his mind, and they poison him with each flash of smile or laughter. They kill him from the inside out. "Please, just," he sobs. "Just stop." Jongdae falls asleep with his hands over his ears but the words, 'You're going to be alright without me,' echo in them anyway. ♡♡♡ Jongdae stood in the middle of the hall, raking his eyes up and down the life-sized box in front of him. It was wrapped in his favorite shade of blue, pale and glimmering under the lights. The box’s bow taunted Jongdae to pull at the ends of it, but he held the urge down. "Honey," his mother cooed. Jongdae smiled at her as he turned his back to the last present he had yet to open. "If you're not going to open your present, you should go and sleep." His mother smiled at him kindly as she sat down on one of the chairs. She yawned as she took off her stilettos. "It's alright, mother," Jongdae said, not moving away from where he was standing. "I'm not that tired yet." In fact, Jongdae could feel the adrenaline surging in his veins as his fingers itched to open his present. "You should go to bed, though. I know the party took a toll on you the most." His mother yawned again as she gathered her shoes in one hand. "Funny how you say that when it was your birthday party. You should be more tired than I am." She shook her head in disapproval although she had a regal smile on her lips. "Oh, well, I'm going to head to bed then." His mother made her way to him. "Go to sleep when you're done opening your presents." She ruffled his hair fondly. "Don't forget to leave a note for the maids to clean the mess up. Good night, sweetheart." His mother tiptoed as she kissed him on the temple and Jongdae whispered the same words of parting. He watched his mother ascend the stairs and disappear before he went back to admire the biggest box he'd ever seen in his life. His heart drummed inside his chest as he smiled gleefully at the box before him. He pressed himself against it, ear and palms flat on the surface to hear and feel what could be inside. Jongdae raised a brow as he felt the sturdiness of the box, sure now it wasn't cardboard. He knocked against it and pulled back when he realized how it made an odd sound, like it echoed deep inside. He bit his lip as he peered up and down the box. He was more than curious now, his fingers tingling to tear through the ribbons and wrappers. Jongdae pulled one end of the ribbon, loosening the bow at the top and watching the white silk fall down to the ground. He grinned eagerly, reaching up to carefully take off the wrapping. It didn't take him long before a white metallic box appeared before him. He stepped back to look at the present, stumbling a little when he found a very human looking person inside the box. A glass at the front revealed everything there was to see inside and Jongdae lifted his gaze to avoid looking at anything else. At the top of the glass, Jongdae read the words in a flashy font: The Guardian Android. He swallowed as he stepped closer and examined what he now assumed was an android. It had plain dark hair. His closed eyes looked every bit as plain as the next Korean. The shape of his face and lips looked bland and Jongdae wondered where all the hype for androids had come from if they all looked this plain. Stepping closer, Jongdae traced the lines of the android's face through the glass. A part of him wished a more attractive man would appear. He shook his head and cleared his thoughts, biting his lip as he tried to figure out what to do. He went around and found a set of instructions at the back. "One," Jongdae read aloud. "Please make sure that the first person your android sees after his Personalization Sync finishes is you. It will help the android develop the contract needed to specifically obey your orders." Jongdae chuckled at that but kept the information in his mind. "Two," he continued to read. "A manual has been provided along with the android to help guide you in your setup." Jongdae clicked his tongue at that and stopped reading, having glanced at the next step about the proper way of taking his android out. Jongdae took a deep breath and exhaled, mentally preparing himself as he tried to look for the button that would open the box. The red button, Jongdae found on the right side, was small and stood out against the white box. A hiss of air escaped when he pressed the button, and Jongdae watched the glass slide down, disappearing within itself. His android stood before him, the only thing separating them this time was the air between them. Jongdae took a step closer and caressed the android’s cheek, suddenly remembering where he'd seen this face. Billboards and TV ads had this face all over New Seoul. Jongdae gulped as the skin connected with his fingertips. It was soft, softer than even his own skin. It felt real, as real as Jongdae's own skin. He bit his lip, retracted his hand and kept a distance between him and the android. "Fuck," he found himself whispering as he stepped back. "My uncle got me the latest android version." He laughed, confusion and excitement mixing in the sound as he stared at his robot. He was unsure of what to do but he knew he couldn't keep it in the main hall forever. Racking up his brain for the right thing to do, Jongdae settled on bringing the droid up to his room. Jongdae grabbed a pen and wrote a quick note for the maids. With a deep breath, Jongdae hauled his android out of the box, surprised to find it practically weightless as it hung on his shoulders. He spotted the manual just below the android's feet and grabbed it with his free hand. Before he knew it, Jongdae found himself in his room, plopping the android down on his bed. He flipped through the pages of the rather thick manual, frowning at the thought of having to read the thing at this hour. He shook his head and threw the manual by his desk. Jongdae returned his attention to his robot and dragged it off his bed. He bit his lip as he decided where to place the thing. Spotting the empty corner of his room, he tugged the android over, patting it on the arm as he turned away. He could finally feel the fatigue of the party crawl under his skin and decided to quickly change his clothes so he can go under his warm covers. Without facing his present, Jongdae muttered a soft good night. It didn't take long before sleep enveloped Jongdae, granting him dreams of a man with silky blond hair and soft-looking pink lips. Jongdae woke when he heard the scream that echoed in his room. With bleary eyes, he tried to make out the person who was standing by his door, her hands covering her mouth in shock. Jongdae rubbed one of his eyes to help clear his vision. "Mother?" Jongdae confirmed, yawning as the familiar figure became clearer. His mother sighed as she approached Jongdae. "What is that thing standing at the corner of your room?" she asked, peering up and down at Jongdae's android, and Jongdae smiled up at his mother. "Uncle got me the latest android model!" Jongdae excitedly exclaimed. His mother sat on his bed and did a double take, scrutinizing the plain android. "Doesn't he look rather plain?" she asked as she turned to face her son. "I think you can set up his appearance? I'm not sure, I haven't properly read the manual yet." Jongdae yawned one more time, making sure to cover his mouth in the presence of his mother. His mother smiled fondly up at him, patting down his bedhead as best as she could. "Well, if you're awake, go and join us for your birthday breakfast." His mother smiled at him. “Happy birthday, dear.” She kissed him on the forehead as Jongdae whispered his thanks. His mother patted him on the back and urged him to follow her out of the room. Jongdae shook his head awake and got off the bed, eyed the manual at the edge of his desk and looked at his android one last time. He would have to deal with them later. His stomach grumbled and Jongdae took it as his cue to go downstairs. As he descended the stairs, Jongdae could hear the soft chatter of his family. His father's voice echoed the loudest from where he stood and Jongdae smiled as he approached the table. "There's the man of the hour," his father greeted. Jongdae came over to his father's side and greeted him a good morning. "Happy birthday, Jongdae." Jongdae turned to his older brother and bowed in thanks. "Thanks, Jongdeok hyung." "So," his father began. "What are you going to do on your birthday?" Jongdae smiled up at his father as he took his seat beside his older brother. "I was thinking of exploring the android I got from Uncle Ryeowook," Jongdae replied. He could tell without looking that his father and brother's eyes lit up at the news of him having an android. "He got you an android?" Jongdeok asked with a bewildered tone. "What model?" "The Guardian," Jongdae replied smugly, giving Jongdeok a cheeky smile. His brother laughed and ruffled his hair. "Brat." "Wow," his father remarked. "That's amazing." He pouted, eyebrows furrowing. Jongdae laughed, already expecting the words that were bound to come out of his mouth. "I feel like I've just suddenly lost to your uncle." Everyone in the table laughed. "Don't say that, father," Jongdae said with a smile. "You gave me a party, a car and an all-expense paid trip out of the country." Jongdae's older brother muttered something along the lines of 'so spoiled' and Jongdae kicked him under the table. "I couldn't have asked for anything more." Jongdae's father laughed. "I guess you're right. But, if there's anything else you want, don't hesitate to ask." Jongdae nodded and thanked his father once more. Once his father and brother finished eating, they excused themselves from the table. Jongdae watched as Jongdeok walked side by side with their father. His father was on the phone and his older brother was surely checking his emails on his tablet. Their expensive suits burned at the back of Jongdae's eyes. His heart twinged with an emotion that wasn't unfamiliar to him. He averted his gaze. "Bye mom, brat. Take care!" Jongdeok called out as he and his father walked out of the dining hall. Jongdae kept his eyes on his plate until he felt his mother's hand on his own. "Finish eating, Jongdae, don't play with your food." She gave Jongdae a solemn smile. Jongdae nodded and obeyed, not having the courage to speak what was on his mind. His mother walked away after that, leaving Jongdae alone with his thoughts. He bit his lip and finished eating. Jongdae took large steps up the stairs to his room. He wanted nothing more than to spend the hours discovering the things his android could do. Once the door clicked shut, Jongdae nabbed the manual by his desk and began diligently reading the instructions. Now that he was more awake, it was easier to absorb the information written on it. There were some steps that Jongdae had to read over again because of the technical terms but he pat himself on the back when he got all that he needed to know. With a deep breath, Jongdae approached his android and pulled it closer to the edge of his bed. Jongdae sat down for a second and stared up at his standing android, suddenly picturing the face he wanted it to have. Glancing once more at the instructions, Jongdae breathed out and stood behind his android. Below the hair of the android, in the middle of his nape, was a circular outline. The instructions had told him he'd have to press it with his forefinger and allow the android's system to copy his fingerprint. Knowing that once he did this there was no turning back, Jongdae pressed the button. "Welcome to the Guardian's Personalization Panel," a male robotic voice announced. In front of the android, a screen projected from it. Jongdae moved around and found the screen coming from the android's blue eyes. Ignoring the eerie feeling coming from the sight, Jongdae sat down his bed and looked at the tabs. "Please select a category to begin." 'APPEARANCE' was the first of the tabs and Jongdae checked the manual to see what it meant. Jongdae realized he was right when he said he could design the android the way he wanted and he excitedly chose the category. Jongdae spent several hours designing, constructing and programming the robot just the way he wanted him to be. He skipped several of the categories, mainly those he wouldn't need (like 'SEX', he definitely didn't need that). Jongdae nodded when he finished selecting the last of the requirements. Once he saved all the changes, his android looked completely different. It was around his height, with platinum blond hair falling against his chocolate brown eyes. He had soft features, his lips pinkish and small, almost kissable. His cheekbones were a little protruded, shadowing his jawline perfectly. His toned body made Jongdae flush, especially as he tried not to look at the appendage between his android's legs. He had no choice but to customize that part as well, having randomly chosen for his android. Jongdae shook his head and focused on his robot's face before going back to the screen. It prompted Jongdae for information. "Please input the following to complete your Guardian's setup," the android said. His voice had changed from the robotic one to the one Jongdae had picked—soft and smooth, like a lullaby every time he spoke. Jongdae tried not to smile smugly at his impeccable taste. Jongdae accessed the keyboard and began inputting the necessary details. The last information Jongdae had to fill out made him stop in his tracks. ’Name: | Jongdae bit his lip and thought carefully what he wanted to call his android. There was only one name he could think of and using it made him feel a little stupid, especially after the hours he spent making sure his robot was unique. Jongdae shook his head and threw all caution out the window. He typed 'Suho' and pressed enter before he could change his mind. "Please wait while your Guardian, Suho, finishes synchronization. 1 percent." The screen disappeared and Jongdae watched as his robot remained stoic. Every minute or so it would speak of its progress with his synchronization. When Jongdae realized he had more time before Suho became active, he decided to spend that time bathing. The stench of last night's party was starting to make his body reek. He shuddered and locked his bedroom door before entering his bathroom. Jongdae tried not to take forever in his bathroom and came out just in time for his android to finish his synchronization. He still had more time to dress before his android finished completely. Jongdae pulled on some sweats and sat on his bed as he dried his hair. "One hundred percent. Synchronization complete." His android closed his eyes and Jongdae stood up from his bed and took a deep breath. Suho opened his eyes, the warmth in them striking Jongdae with a sense of familiarity. He held his breath. Slowly, the corners of Suho's lips lifted. It was a small smile but something about it made Jongdae swallow. "Good evening, master." Jongdae's heart stopped. ♡♡♡ The sound of his door opening alerts Jongdae and he stills in his covers, feeling the hairs on his skin rise. "Jongdae," the soft voice of his mother filters through the room and Jongdae sighs as he waits for his mother to leave. "You haven't been out of your room in days." Her voice has traces of concern in them but Jongdae tries to ignore it. Cocooned in his blankets, he tugs them around his head. He hears his mother sigh before she closes the door, leaving Jongdae alone in his room again. Just when Jongdae thinks his mother is gone, the door bursts open again, banging as it hits the wall. "Kim Jongdae!" she shouts, surprising Jongdae but it doesn't deter him from staying in his shell. He keeps his position and stays quiet. His mother sighs once more before sitting down at the edge of his bed, her hand coming up to caress his body through the blankets. "I know it's been hard on you," his mother says, her voice soft and slightly muffled. "But you can't stay holed up in your room forever." Jongdae bites his lip, fighting back the words that threaten to spill past them. I know, he thinks as he pulls his legs closer to his body. He feels his mother embrace him before she finally leaves the room. The door clicking shut echoes in the room for a few seconds before it bathes Jongdae with silence once more. He lets out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding. He takes a deep breath and slowly draws the cover away from his head, the cool air of his room hitting his warm skin as he lowers the blanket further. His room looks bare, even to him, clean of all the mess he'd made before he retreated to the safety of his bed. The light from the morning sun passes through the slits of the curtain and Jongdae sighs as he moves his legs. For the first time in days, Jongdae feels the softness of his carpeted floor. He doesn't look behind him as he keeps his gaze stuck to the floor. With all the strength he has, Jongdae stands up and almost falls to the ground. He stumbles even as he continues to walk forward. When it becomes too much for him to bear, he shouts. In seconds, Jongdeok appears by his door alongside his worried mother. Jongdae is on his knees but his brother hurries to his side, bringing one arm over his shoulders and hauling Jongdae up from the ground. "Finally out of your cave, brat?" his brother asks as he helps Jongdae down the stairs. Jongdae doesn't have the energy to laugh or reply so he just nods his head and rests half of his weight on his brother. He drags his legs down the stairs and makes it to the table where his father gives him a solemn smile. "How you holding up, son?" his father asks as he pushes the plate of food to Jongdae. In the background, Jongdae can hear his mother order the maids around for all types of food to replenish Jongdae's energy. Jongdae opens his mouth but finds it hard to talk, his throat closing up and starting to hurt. Tears once again prick the corners of his eyes. He gives his father a weary smile, swallowing the lump in his throat, hoping his father understands. "Eat up, brat," Jongdeok says as he puts rice on Jongdae's plate. His brother gives him a smile as he ruffles Jongdae's hair. Jongdae tries his best to keep himself from crying. His lips quiver and he traps them between his teeth and stares at his plate filled to the brim with food. Opposite him, his mother reaches for his hand on the table. The warmth tingles his palm, floods his veins and he feels teardrop after teardrop fall from the corners of his eyes. Jongdae sobs. He cries and tries to apologize, the words mixing with the air that comes out of his mouth. Arms envelop him and Jongdae bawls, feeling guilty for worrying his family. Amidst the cries and the chaos going on in his mind, Jongdae hears his family repeat, "You're going to be alright. You're alright now." He continues to sob as he lets his family hold him and comfort him. For the first time in days, since he's heard those words leave soft pink lips, he finally believes them. ♡♡♡ Jongdae raked his eyes up and down Suho's clothed form. After looking through his closet for clothes he no longer wore, Jongdae was able to find Suho a decent outfit. Suho wore a pale blue button down that Jongdae tucked in his black skinny jeans. Jongdae had rolled the sleeves up his elbows and pushed Suho's fringe to the side. "You look good." "Thank you, master," Suho said, startling Jongdae with his voice. He had forgotten that Suho wasn’t a mere doll. "Don't call me master," Jongdae lightly scolded, hitting Suho on the shoulder. "Just call me Jongdae." "Jongdae?" Suho confirmed. Jongdae nodded, a smile forming on his lips as he patted down Suho's shirt. The warmth of Suho's skin surprised Jongdae and he retracted his hands. "Jongdae," Suho whispered, as if he was trying out the words on his tongue. He smiled again when he looked like he'd gotten used to saying it. "Thank you, Jongdae." Jongdae's heart stopped for a fraction of a second. It took him a lot longer to gather his bearings. He shook his head, clearing his mind of unnecessary thoughts and his heart of feelings. He returned the smile Suho gave him and held his android's hand. Jongdae's eyes widened at the heat of Suho's palm. It felt so real. He swallowed and tightened his hold as he pulled Suho to his side. "Come on, I'll introduce you to my family." Jongdae dragged Suho down the stairs, occasionally looking back to check if Suho could keep up. It didn't take long for Jongdae to find his family. He found them gathered in the dining hall. The maids looked busy as they placed plates of food in the middle. Dinner looked as if it was just about to start. "Mother, Father, Hyung!" Jongdae called out, drawing their attention to him and his guardian by his side. "Oh, Jongdae!" his mother exclaimed. "If you were going to invite a guest, you should have told us!" "Mother, it's not a guest. It's my Guardian, Suho!" Jongdae pushed Suho forward, his hands on Suho's shoulders to keep him in place. Everyone stood up and came closer to inspect Suho. Suho smiled at them and bowed. "Good evening, everyone. I'm Jongdae's android, Suho. It's a pleasure to meet you." "That's amazing!" Jongdeok exclaimed and came to take a closer look at Suho. "He looks so real." "I'm meant to look as close to a human being as possible, sir." Jongdae stifled a laugh as his family began bombarding Suho with questions. Suho looked like he was having fun, a pleasant smile fixed on his face as he did his best to answer their questions. Jongdae didn't even notice it until food appeared in front of him that he was already seated on the table. He looked up from where he put food on his plate and found Suho sitting opposite of him. Suho’s smile remained perfectly on his face. Something about Suho looking comfortable with his family made Jongdae's heart throb. "So what's your specific function?" Jongdeok asked. Everyone in the room turned their attention to Jongdae's older brother, clearly asking for elaboration. He swallowed the food in his mouth and continued. "Well, you know how some androids have specific uses? Like the Companion series was for helping around and the Doll series was for sex." "I don't have one." Suho smiled, facing Jongdae now. "I can be anything my master wants me to be. I can do everything the older models can do and more." "Wow," Jongdae could hear his father utter. "SM Systems Co. really outdid themselves with this one." "Yeah," Jongdae found himself replying, eyes never leaving Suho's kind face. "Wow, indeed." Jongdae smiled sheepishly at Suho as he closed the door to his room. Suho simply stood in the middle of the room, keeping his smile as he watched Jongdae. "Sorry if my family bothered you with their questions." Jongdae walked past Suho and invited his Guardian to sit beside him on the bed. "It's alright," Suho answered, meeting Jongdae's eyes as he talked. "I understand the curious nature of human beings." Jongdae laughed. "Don't talk like that. It doesn't fit the 'to look more human' vibe you've got going on." Suho nodded. Silence blanketed them for a few minutes before Jongdae realized what time it was. It was already late, his drawn curtains revealing the night sky and the lights of New Seoul. "Do androids sleep?" Jongdae asked as he stood up from the bed and gathered his pajamas in his arms. "Yes, we do." Jongdae nodded and began to strip. Somehow, he felt the weight of Suho's stare as he pulled his shirt up over his head and dropped it back down, turning to gaze at his android. Suho hadn't looked away, smiling face fixed on Jongdae's form. Feeling self-conscious, Jongdae locked himself in the bathroom to change. "I won't do anything, you know," Suho called out from outside the bathroom. His tone had a hint of teasing and it made Jongdae flush as he hurried to change his clothes. When Jongdae came out, he scoffed at Suho. "Yeah, well I still can't trust you." Suho shook his head and stood up, taking Jongdae's clothes in his hands to fold them properly. "I really won't." He looked up at Jongdae, as if to ascertain that his master was still listening. "You didn't program me that way." Jongdae thought about this, not remembering anywhere in the 'Personalization Panel' that could bring this attribute up. Not bothering to pay any more attention to it, he went back to the matter at hand. "So, why do you sleep?" Jongdae asked as he went through his closet for pajamas he could lend Suho. "To recharge." There was a pause and Jongdae turned around to see if Suho would explain. He did. "I need 5 hours to fully recharge my power supply. It is best that I do this in the hours that you are asleep so that you will not have to feel my lack of presence." Jongdae hummed as he pulled out some old pajamas he no longer wore. "But what if I woke up in the middle of the night and needed you?" Jongdae handed Suho the pajamas and ushered for him to change in the bathroom. "In the first two hours during charging mode, you will not be able to wake me," Suho answered from inside the bathroom, his voice echoing through the crack in the door. "After that," Suho continued as he exited. Jongdae watched as Suho pulled down the sleep shirt he’d given him. The pale skin that Jongdae got a peek of made his throat dry. "I will be able to function once more." "So I have to charge you every night?" Jongdae confirmed and Suho laughed, shocking Jongdae as his voice rang in the room. It was the first time something other than a smile was on his face. "Not really. My power supply can last me a week at most without charging." Suho sat down beside Jongdae and projected a screen in the white wall of Jongdae's room. Jongdae leaned back on his bed before focusing on the display. It showed the details of Suho's system. "You see that heart shaped outline?" Suho pointed and Jongdae followed the finger, finding the heart to be quite easy to spot as it was in the middle of the display. "See how it's filled up but not to the brim?" Jongdae nodded and Suho continued. "If I sleep tonight, for five hours, then the heart will be completely filled out. If I sleep for two hours, it goes up but only just a little. If I don't sleep at all, it just drops." "So you can have days where I don't have to sleep," Suho provided and Jongdae gave out a soft 'ah' as the information settled. "Do I have to command you to sleep or something?" Jongdae asked as he motioned for Suho to retract the screen. "There's no specific command. You can order me to not sleep and I wouldn't sleep. But if you do sleep, then I will more or less sleep." Jongdae took that as a fair arrangement and motioned to his bed. "Well, you're going to have to share the bed with me for tonight. We have spare rooms but I don't trust my family to leave you alone if they find out you're going to be by yourself," Jongdae offered and Suho nodded as he settled on the other side of Jongdae. "You don't mind, do you?" Jongdae asked, settling in his covers. He watched Suho do the same, his android turning to his side so he could face Jongdae. "Of course I don't," Suho replied. Jongdae yawned and tried to find a comfortable position for his head to rest on. "I apologize now if I accidentally cuddle you in my sleep." Suho shook his head, still smiling. "I don't mind." "Why aren't you sleeping, yet?" Jongdae found himself asking, his mind begging for rest. "I'm not permitted to sleep until after you do," Suho whispered as Jongdae blinked tiredly back at him. Jongdae yawned one more time before scoffing. "That's nice." Jongdae scooted closer to Suho's warmth, unconsciously resting his head on his android's shoulder. It was a comfortable feeling, the warmth that Suho's body provided, and he found himself leaning closer. "Good night, Jongdae." He heard Suho whisper softly before sleep claimed him. ♡♡♡ Jongdae closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. The sun stands high in the sky and the laughter of university students fill the courtyard. He takes that one step and finds himself inside the building. It's quieter inside than it is outside. A tall clear glass stands at the end of the hall. The screen takes up almost the entire wall and displays multiple parts of the university website that Jongdae has visited a million times. He approaches the glass and presses the 'Help' tab at the very bottom. A list of categories to choose from appears in one fourth of the screen and Jongdae picks the one he needs. Jongdae steps back as the whole screen changes. At the top of the screen a large banner writes 'Robotic Engineering' and below it are different categories and medias that fade in and out of the screen. Jongdae spots the course description right in front of him and uses a finger to stop it from fading out, enlarging the box to better read the information written. Once he's checked out the details, he proceeds to check its availability and course listings. He nods in approval as he checks the photos and videos showcased at the side of the box, fading in and out. He swallows as he goes back to the homepage. His heart thunders in his chest but he knows he can't back out now. He steps back and turns to the rows of windows on the side of the hall. He checks the name plates above the windows and looks for the right category. He stops in front of the window under 'Registrar'. A woman Companion greets him with the brightest smile Jongdae has ever seen. "Good morning, how may I help you?" she says, her kind voice filling Jongdae with a sense of calm. He tries not to think how familiar it sounds. "I'd like to ask about the application procedures for an undergraduate student." Jongdae hears himself speak but doesn't believe it's his voice he's hearing. The Companion smiles at him as she replies, handing him a small card and tablet. "Please input your necessary information here." She gestures to the tablet and Jongdae does as he's told. "This card has your identification code given to all examinees. You will need it to access your application form, your examination date and your examination itself." Jongdae nods and the android continues. "A website is written down on the card, enter your code once it prompts you and proceed with filling out your application form. Guidelines will be provided in the site to help you in case you have any inquiries. The hotline and online messaging facilities will be available twenty-four seven, so please do not be afraid to ask for assistance should you need one." Jongdae returns the tablet after signing his details and nods, accepting the card. "Thank you," Jongdae manages to say, his voice softer than he'd like. "No, thank you," the android replies, her smile wider than before. She tilts her head to the side and closes her eyes as she smiles. "Welcome to SM Engineering University." Jongdae returns the smile and walks away. He puts the card in his pocket, careful not to lose it. He takes a deep breath, inhaling the fresh air for the first time in a while. He bites his lip as he exits the building. A new future awaits Jongdae. ♡♡♡ Warmth surrounded Jongdae and he felt himself burrow in it even further. He pressed his cheek against a soft surface and sighed. There was a weight on Jongdae's waist that intensified the feeling and Jongdae held onto that weight, pulling it closer to wrap around him. Once he was comfortable, Jongdae relaxed into his cocoon and tried to go back to sleep. The silence that met his ear as he pressed the side of his head against that smooth soft surface surprised Jongdae. But the fingers that danced and tangled in his hair easily distracted him. Jongdae hummed in approval as he tried not to think about the emptiness that greeted his ear. Soon, the fingertips in his hair began massaging his scalp and it became harder to go back to sleep. With one eye open, Jongdae tried to look at who was holding him. The shocking blond hair almost made him push the man back before everything dawned on him. He sighed as he nestled his head on Suho's shoulder. "Good morning, Jongdae," Suho greeted and when Jongdae looked up, his soft smile was on his face. Jongdae bit his lip and closed his eyes, momentarily blinded. Suho's fingers continued to massage his scalp and Jongdae sighed as he pulled away from Suho's embrace. He already missed the warmth with just the small distance he'd made. "You don't have a heartbeat," Jongdae mused as he scratched his eyes. "Because I don't have a heart," Suho supplied as he sat up on Jongdae's bed. Jongdae yawned as he tried to process the answer. He frowned a little as it dawned on him. "Smartass," Jongdae heard himself mutter as he got off the bed. Suho chuckled and Jongdae whipped his head behind him to see Suho stifling a laugh behind his soft smile. Jongdae shook his head as he stood up. "If they're trying to make you more human, why not give you a heartbeat?" Jongdae yawned and stretched his back. "Because I'm not human," Suho replied, his voice even and Jongdae turned to see if he had dropped his smile. Suho didn't. "I try to appear human, yes, but my inventors believe that it is pointless to make me any more like a human than necessary. Our version wasn't made to replace humans." Jongdae felt dread rain down on him and he sat back down and gave Suho a stern look. He opened his mouth to say something, anything to dispel the sadness he felt at those words. To Suho it might be fine but to Jongdae it wasn't and he didn't understand why. "Don't say that," Jongdae said instead, gritting his teeth. He took several deep breaths before calming down. "Just. Don't say that ever again." Suho looked taken aback before he once again smiled at Jongdae. He put a hand on top of Jongdae's to offer comfort. "I'm sorry if I upset you." Huffing out a breath, Jongdae gave Suho a weary smile before disappearing inside his bathroom. He didn't want to think about it anymore. "By the way, get ready!" Jongdae yelled from the bathroom before he stepped in the shower. "I'm taking you out shopping!" Jongdae erased all thoughts of their previous conversation as he let the warm water spray over his head. Instead, he concentrated on the silence that welcomed him when he woke up. It wasn't uncomfortable. It was just something new. It was, Jongdae had to admit, something that helped him fall asleep. By the time Jongdae got out of the shower, Suho was still sitting on the bed. He hadn't changed out of his clothes and it was then that Jongdae realized he hadn't given Suho clothes to wear. He sighed as he made his way to his drawers and picked out some clothes. He threw them to his android and pushed him to his bathroom to get dressed. Jongdae immediately picked out his own outfit, wasting no time in case Suho went out just as Jongdae was about to wear his jeans. He just finished putting on his shoes when Suho walked out of the bathroom, feet bare and Jongdae knew he'd have to lend Suho some of his shoes for the day too. When he picked out shoes that would match Suho’s clothes, Jongdae tugged on Suho's wrist and brought him to his brand new car. "Would you like me to drive, Jongdae?" Suho asked before Jongdae could pull the driver's door open. Jongdae thought about it for a second before giving in, making sure Suho had license to drive. "I'm pretty sure you can do everything," Jongdae started as the car lifted off the ground and the windshield view became wider. "So, what is it that you can not do?" Suho chuckled, the sound surprising Jongdae that he whipped his head a little too hard to catch the sight. It was gone before Jongdae could see, replaced by the soft smile that was slowly grating Jongdae's nerves. "Right now, I don’t know which shopping center you want to go to so I can’t drive." Jongdae rolled his eyes as he returned his gaze to watch the scenery pass by. "Go to SM Shopping Center. They have the best clothes for androids." A fews seconds of silence passed between them before Jongdae asked again. "But seriously, what can you not do as a Guardian? What are your limitations?" His eyes shone lightly as he turned to face Suho whose gaze stayed glued to the road. "I can't," Suho paused, his face contorting into a frown for a millisecond. "I can't fly." Jongdae laughed but let Suho continue. "I can't do activities related to certain parts of my personality that haven't been filled out, yet." Jongdae flushed a little at these words, amazed at how Suho could keep a straight face with his implications. "Okay, fine, so I left out some categories, so what?" Jongdae shrugged, returning his gaze to the road, the cars zooming by at their sides. "It's not like you have any use for them." "That's true," Suho replied as he made a right turn. A large complex appeared in the road, cars flying past them as they all made their way to the largest shopping center in New Seoul. Suho didn't seem to need to know where to park, so Jongdae stayed quiet, watching his android with quiet curiosity. Suho parked the car to the nearest entrance and Jongdae exited the car. Jongdae went to Suho’s side and pulled the Guardian along to enter the mall. The center looked bigger than when Jongdae last visited. He glanced to his side and smiled softly at the quiet wonder on Suho's face. The android’s eyes were comically large as he looked around the place. A glass ceiling illuminated the three storey complex, highlighting the vast number of shops and people that filled the area. "Come on," Jongdae said, pulling Suho up the third floor where the android's section was. The 'SM Android Center' greeted them, the whole floor dedicated to android services. An attendant immediately rushed to Jongdae's side, smiling kindly down at the two of them. By instinct, Jongdae knew it was a Companion. "Good morning, sirs, my name is Mindy, I will be your attendant for the day, how may I help you?" Jongdae smiled as he pulled Suho in front of him, hands on his shoulders as he offered Suho to Mindy. "Thank you, Mindy," Jongdae started. "Meet my android, Suho. He needs clothes and all the other necessities." Mindy nodded as she led them to the waiting area located to the side of the floor. Couches and refreshments were available for humans, and Jongdae joined a few owners who looked as though they’d been there forever. One of them looked especially bored, his dark hair falling against his eyes as he focused on his phone. "Please fill out these forms," Mindy said drawing Jongdae out of his thoughts as he took a tablet from her hands. "Also, what kind of android is Sir Suho?" "Guardian," Jongdae replied as he filled out the forms, entering the necessary details and giving them back to Mindy. Mindy’s eyes widened before she smiled in understanding. "Would you mind waiting for a moment." Mindy bowed and left Suho to sit beside Jongdae. "What's that all about?" Jongdae asked whispering to Suho. Suho just smiled and shrugged. Jongdae raised an eyebrow at the reaction before going back to watch the androids and their owners scatter about the place. "Kyuhyun~" An android called out in a sickly sweet voice. Jongdae and Suho turned their heads to the sound. Jongdae found himself looking at a pretty male android, his white hair with black highlights hiding his eyes but giving him a mysterious air about him. The man that played on his phone on the adjacent couch smiled at the pretty android, the bored look on his face gone. Jongdae gulped as the android smirked down at his owner. "Are you done now, Sungminnie?" the owner asked, standing up and pocketing his phone. The android nodded as he quickly tucked himself to his owner's side. The owner’s hand slid down the android's back and Jongdae watched as it subtly squeezed the android's backside. "A Doll," Jongdae whispered, having rarely seen Dolls out in the open. Jongdae shook his head and kept his eyes away from them, focusing on Suho who looked at him with his head tilted innocently. "What? You have something you want to ask me?" Jongdae barked. "You can distinguish them?" Suho asked, his eyes somehow twinkling but his smile soft. Jongdae thought about it and relaxed in his seat. "Yeah, I can. I mean Companions aren't that hard to distinguish from Dolls. Companions are everywhere. Dolls, you don't see them as much. Most owners like to keep them indoors." Jongdae blushed at the little revelation. "What about Guardians?" Jongdae shrugged, looking around the floor and seeing mostly Companions by the side of their owners. "Guardians are fairly new and extremely expensive so I'd bet they're rarer to see than Dolls." "Excuse me, Mr. Kim," Mindy said returning to their side. "If you would just follow me, I'll lead you to the Exclusive Section." Jongdae's eyes widened as they entered a room in the floor filled with high-quality clothes and classier looking androids. Guardians littered the room with their owners who donned designer clothes. "This is Cindy, and she will be your new guide," Mindy said gesturing to another pretty Companion. Mindy bid them goodbye and went back outside. "Welcome, Mr. Kim, to the Exclusive Section. From now on, all your purchases related to Sir Suho shall be conducted here." Cindy gestured to the waiting area, a mini bar in the corner. "What kind of clothes would you want for Sir Suho?" Jongdae thought about it before giving Cindy a list of clothes he had in mind. "Thank you, please do look around as I bring clothes matching your description." Jongdae nodded as he watched Cindy leave. He turned to Suho and saw that he eyed the clothes and trinkets all over the place. "Do you want to look around?" Jongdae asked, smiling at his android coyly. Suho nodded and Jongdae didn't waste a second in dragging Suho to the clothes displayed all over the room. Jongdae peered at them, imagining Suho wearing some of the items. "This would look nice on you," Jongdae commented as he tugged on Suho to hold a shirt up against him. He nodded as he kept the item in his arms and followed Suho around. "You don't go to school, do you, Jongdae?" Suho asked suddenly as he pulled out some pants. Jongdae, stunned from the question, found himself gaping. "I—How do you know that?" Suho looked like he was about to laugh but his face kept the smile. Jongdae noticed the twitches, finding them odd but couldn't focus on the odd quirk. "I know all the facts there is to know about you, Jongdae." Suho smiled at him, facing his owner before putting back the clothes in his hand. "I know your father owns Kim Manufacturing Inc. Your mother used to work as a designer, famously known as Ms. JK. Your brother graduated from SM Engineering University and is set to inherit KMI." Suho walked to Jongdae, grabbing the hangers from his arm, smile intact. "You graduated from New Seoul Science High School 3 years ago at the top of your class but has decided not to pursue higher education." "Well, Mr. Know-It-All," Jongdae started facing away from his android. "If you already knew, you should not have asked." Suho didn't turn away, keeping his gaze on Jongdae and successfully making Jongdae squirm. Jongdae anxiously bit his lip. "I want to know why," Suho simply stated. "As your android, I'm granted access to information with regards to you and your family. I know the who, what, where and how. Just not the why." Jongdae sighed, as he put more hangers into Suho's arms. "I—" Jongdae looked around to see if anyone was close or listening in on their conversation. He found only a few people left in the section and relented. "I wanted to take up business." Jongdae bit his lip hoping Suho would understand and stop prying. "Excuse me, Mr. Kim, here are clothes fitted to Sir Suho's measurements. Would you like me to find those clothes in his size as well?" Cindy asked, interrupting their conversation. Jongdae nodded, thankful for the distraction as he took the clothes from Cindy's hands and allowed Suho to replace them with the ones from his arms. "I will be back shortly. The fitting rooms are that way." Cindy gestured to the farthest wall decorated with high mirrors and Jongdae pushed Suho in that direction. Before Suho could open his mouth to say anything, Jongdae pushed his Guardian in a stall and closed the door on him. No one knew the exact reason why Jongdae hadn't gone to college yet and he was sure, so sure, he would take the answer to his grave. He shook his head as he sat down on the couch opposite of the stalls. Suho came out of the stall minutes later, donning the first set of clothes. Jongdae loved the style and design from the brand Cindy picked. It accentuated Suho's features so well that Jongdae couldn’t look away from his Guardian. He smiled and allowed Suho’s little fashion show to fill his mind with things other than their talk a while ago. Pretty soon, Cindy had come back with a new batch of clothes, the styles ranging from casual to formal. Jongdae took them all and handed them to Suho. By the time Suho tried on his nth top and his third pair of pants, all talks of higher education had left Jongdae's mind. Jongdae truly enjoyed watching Suho try on different clothes and pose a little as he waited for Jongdae's approval. He smiled every time he spotted Suho looking even more handsome than he did with each new set he wore. "We'll take everything," Jongdae told Cindy as Suho put back his borrowed clothes on. Cindy nodded, smiling at her successful sales as she put all the clothes in a bag and disappeared. Suho sat beside Jongdae and smiled at his owner, his eyes boring into Jongdae's temple. Jongdae sighed as he turned to his android, cringing when he saw the smile that has been on Suho's face forever. "Why didn't you take up business?" Jongdae gaped, but quickly closed his mouth, fighting the urge to groan. He palmed his face, sliding his hands up and down his face before turning to look at his android. "You're not going to back down until I answer you, aren't you?" Jongdae asked, hoping Suho would let it go. Jongdae thought about changing some of Suho's personality, trying to find the category that had 'Nosiness' under it. He dragged a hand down his face and erased those thoughts. He didn't want to change Suho. Jongdae peered at Suho through his fingers. Suho’s smile looked even kinder with his eyes closed. Jongdae gave up. "I'll tell you in the car, alright?" Suho nodded, accepting the answer. Just then, Cindy appeared with a tablet. "Please sign here," She instructed Jongdae and Jongdae signed the forms and took the card she had presented Jongdae. "Please present this card on your next visit. Thank you for your patronage." Cindy handed Jongdae his bags and bowed low. Jongdae thanked her and gave Suho the bags in his hands as they walked out of the center. Jongdae stayed quiet, dragging Suho to the parking lot and didn't utter a word until the car hovered over the ground. "I couldn't take business because that would mean going against my brother with his inheritance," Jongdae said bitterly, his eyes trained on the road. "I always wanted to work in the family business, always thought I had a chance. But when it was made final that my brother would become the next CEO after my father, I knew I couldn't take up business." Suho nodded, his smiling face on the road. "I'm sure you'll find something else you’ll want to do soon enough." Suho reached his hand out and squeezed Jongdae's hand. The gesture surprised Jongdae, but he also found it oddly comforting. He watched Suho's hand hold his and he tightened his grip. "In the meantime, I'll be here to help you until you do." The car stopped, the light turned red and when Jongdae looked up, Suho had his eyes on him. His lips tilted upwards at the corners and his eyes shone. It was a different smile and Jongdae knew it. Jongdae’s heart picked up speed and he bit his lip, nodding as he returned Suho's smile. It was the first time Suho had smiled at him like that and he would keep this look ingrained in his heart forever. one / two