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wheredreamslast2014-05-29 12:32 pm
darkyulate) wrote in wheredreamslast2014-05-29 12:32 pm
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suchen; In the midst of falling rain and roaring thunder (2/2) [Oneshot]
| one / two Joonmyun loosens the tie around his neck and wipes the sweat beginning to dot his forehead. “Joonmyun-ssi,” The planner calls and he smiles at her politely, following her to the stage where Taeyeon and their family are already waiting. Taeyeon smiles as he appears, looping her arm in his. She leans into him and Joonmyun bends down to hear what she’s going to whisper. “I promise to make this arrangement as painless as possible if you do the same.” It makes Joonmyun chuckle, feeling a little relieved at the words. “I promise,” he says meaning it. And he can’t help but smile as Taeyeon takes her pinky out and he wraps his own around it, the childish act lightening the burden that he feels. The announcement is quick and loud in Joonmyun’s ears and the cheers even more deafening. He feels a little numb as people who barely know them congratulate them and he praises himself for upholding the fake smile as perfectly as he can just like all those times. When he glances at his parents, a proud smile on their faces, Joonmyun knows he’s still doing things right but the feeling in his heart is heavy, no happiness or satisfaction at all coursing through his veins. Only the feeling of resignation and defeat lingers. “Joonmyun,” Taeyeon calls his attention and he turns his fake smile towards her and he lets himself be pulled along to where she’s heading. “I want you to meet that artist friend I was talking about.” When Taeyeon stops in front of a very familiar face, Joonmyun stops breathing. Standing in front of him is Jongdae and his eyes are smiling at him sadly. “Joonmyun, this is Kim Jongdae,” Taeyeon starts, gesturing towards Jongdae with her free hand and Joonmyun almost cuts her with an ‘I know’ but she beats him to it. “Also known as Chen.” Joonmyun feels like someone has knocked him out at the back of his head. He can’t seem to take in enough air as the he processes the information. Also known as Chen keeps echoing in his mind and Jongdae’s calm composure does nothing to help. “Nice to finally meet you,” Jongdae says extending his hand and Joonmyun makes a choking sound. He doesn’t understand what’s going on but he gains enough composure to go along as the pieces of the puzzle begin falling into place in the back of his mind. He takes the hand in his and excuses himself from the gathering. He walks and doesn’t look back, walks out of the function room and into the restroom where there are no people. He takes deep breaths and focuses at the lines connecting inside his mind. “That explains everything,” Joonmyun whispers to himself as he thinks of why Jongdae had looked so sad when he viewed Chen’s exhibit that one time, why he wouldn’t let him see his unfinished works, why he’d laughed at him for acting like he’d had a crush on Chen. “It explains everything.” But at the same time it doesn’t, Joonmyun thinks as he looks at himself in the mirror. Joonmyun keeps asking why, why Jongdae kept accepting his invitations, why he’d told Joonmyun all those things, why he’d let Joonmyun string him along with this, whatever this was. And it’s those questions that has him sprinting out of the restroom, has him going back inside the function room and looking frantically for that familiar face, for that chiseled jaw and mussed up hair. He looks around and ignores everyone that asks him what’s wrong, only vaguely hears the commotion he’s causing as he tries to find the one person he’s looking for. There’s a hand on his arm and he spares the person a few seconds and finds Taeyeon smiling sadly up at him, “Jongdae left already.” And Joonmyun only manages a soft thanks before his sprinting out of the function room, the thunder and rain telling him that he’s going to run in the rain. Once he’s stepped out, he spots Jongdae not far from the doors of his office building, standing in the rain. “Jongdae,” he shouts and Jongdae turns to him for a second before running out of sight. Joonmyun runs after him, wasting no more time to think about it, not stopping as he hears the sound of his name being called out from behind. The rain is pouring heavily, almost blinding but Joonmyun doesn't stop running, he doesn't stop chasing after the man he can barely see in front of him. "Jongdae," Joonmyun screams into the downpour but the artist doesn't turn back, doesn't stop heading towards his house. "Jongdae," Joonmyun shouts again, feeling the burn in his lungs as the rain weighs him down. Jongdae fumbles with the keys to his gate and it gives Joonmyun enough time to catch up to him. Jongdae turns to find Joonmyun so close and throws open the gates, and in his haste, leaves it open for Joonmyun to follow. He runs to the back and uses the unlocked sliding door to avoid fumbling with the keys. Jongdae slips the lock once he's closed the door and then Joonmyun is slipping through his backyard, wet hands pounding his glass doors. "Go away, Joonmyun!" Jongdae screams turning away from the scene, hugging himself as the weight of his wet tuxedo makes him shiver. "You have to let me explain. You have to let me apologize!" Joonmyun shouts over the sounds of thunder. Lightning lights up the sky and Jongdae trembles as he backs away from Joonmyun's view. "There's nothing to explain," Jongdae whispers. Joonmyun can't hear what he's saying with the door separating them and the lightning making thunder crack into the sky. Jongdae's head is tilted down and all Joonmyun can really see is his fringe masking his eyes. "Let me in, Jongdae," Joonmyun says forcefully pounding on the glass doors once more. "Let me —" "There's nothing to explain!" Jongdae screams as he drops to the floor, broken sobs leaving his lips. "There's nothing to say. Everything is my fault. Everything —" Jongdae doesn't get to continue as his cries take over him and Joonmyun wishes he had enough strength to break through the door. Joonmyun curses as Jongdae curls into himself and he thinks of a faster way to get to Jongdae instead of forcing him to open the glass door. And then he remembers the key under the mat and he sprints towards the porch, fortunately not slipping in his hurry. He doesn't fumble with the keys and is thankful he'd spotted Jongdae once or twice using it whenever he brought him home. It doesn't take him long before he's enveloping Jongdae in his arms and murmuring his apologies into his ears. Jongdae pushes him away, beats into his chest as hard as he can with all the sobbing he's doing. "Let me go!" Jongdae keeps shouting. "Don't touch me!" "You have to hear me out," Joonmyun keeps reasoning. "I don't have to. There's no point to this." And with one last push, Jongdae successfully disentangles himself from Joonmyun's arms. "We both know it." Jongdae's tone is bitter as he stands before Joonmyun, soaked to the bone and never did he look so broken in Joonmyun's eyes. Not even that time they'd seen his works about his past love did he look like this. Joonmyun gulps and tries to reach out, feeling his heart break little by little with what Jongdae says. "Don't say that." Joonmyun's tone is soft but desperate. Jongdae glares at him before giving a bitter chuckle. "What are you even trying to say? 'Don't say that'? What the fuck, Joonmyun." He steps back and stares into Joonmyun's eyes as he says, "Fuck you, Joonmyun." The effect is immediate. Joonmyun feels like someone has ripped his heart out and he's never felt so ashamed of himself, never felt so low. "But I love you," Joonmyun tries to defend and Jongdae laughs loud and clear, the sound no longer like a soft melody to Joonmyun's ears. "So what, Joonmyun?" Jongdae spits out, voice like poison. "So what if you love me? What if you fucking love me? What about it?" Joonmyun's heart stops, and he opens his mouth to say something but he realizes Jongdae is right. Jongdae laughs, soft and bitter. "See," Jongdae starts. "You don't even know what you're talking about." Joonmyun looks down, not wanting to see the tears spilling from Jongdae's eyes and clenches his fist. He takes a deep breath and closes his eyes, lets the tears fall as he tries to express himself better. "Do you love me?" He finds himself asking in between the sounds of rain and the lightning illuminating the dark dining room. Jongdae sighs. "What's the point, Joonmyun? Suppose I love you, what are you going to do about it? You and I both know you can't give up your engagement with Taeyeon." Joonmyun swallows the lump in his throat and never has he hated his life more than he did now. "Did you always know? That I was the one engaged to Taeyeon?" At this, the bitter laugh that Jongdae lets loose makes Joonmyun's heart hollow. "Yeah. Of course I did." Jongdae turns away from Joonmyun and takes a seat on one of the dining room chairs. He buries his face in his hands and the next set of words he says gets muffled by it. "I wanted to see if Taeyeon deserved you. I honestly hadn't expected for me to —" Jongdae doesn't continue but it's enough for Joonmyun to gain a little confidence. "Jongdae," Joonmyun begins. "Just tell me if you love me and I promise I'll fix this." "I'm sorry," is all Jongdae says and the lightning strikes through the sky as if to make Jongdae's decision final. Joonmyun takes a deep breath and with heavy steps, walks out of the house. After a day of leaving Jongdae about a hundred missed calls, messages and voice messages, Joonmyun gives up. He throws the phone far away from him, doesn’t care if it breaks into pieces on his office floor. There is pounding on the door and muffled shouts of ‘Joonmyun open the door’ from people he assumes are his parents but he doesn’t want to see them, he doesn’t want them to affect the decision he’s trying to make. Suppose I love you, what are you going to do about it? You and I both know you can't give up your engagement with Taeyeon. The words keep repeating in his head and everytime he thinks of the final outcome, wedding bells ringing softly in his ears, it makes his stomach churn. “There has to be more to this,” he says to himself, ignoring the shouts for his attention as he continues to mull over his situation. Joonmyun has always obeyed his parents, has always been the good kid. When they told him he couldn’t be an artist, he manned up and accepted his fate. When they told him he’d be heading the Korean branch of their company instead of the American one, he nodded his head and booked his own flight. When they tell him he’s going to get married, he smiles at them and accepts it all. He’s never felt the need to voice out his dreams, not like he does now. It’s been a week since he’s locked himself inside his office, thankful that it provided him with water and snacks. There’s a stubble growing on his jaw and the suit he’d worn during the engagement party is rumpled and smelly. But he doesn’t care about his appearance as he opens the door to his parents. He doesn’t care and doesn’t listen as his parents go on about how terrible of a son he is, disgracing them during the party. He’s not even listening when he tells them, “I’m gay.” The slap is expected but he doesn’t know who gave it to him. “What are you saying?” His mother asks, scandalized. Joonmyun looks down, doesn’t want to see the disappointment in her eyes, knowing it will make him waver. “I’m gay and I’m in love —” another slap on his other cheek makes him stop. He takes a few seconds to regain composure, the hit being a little more forceful that the other. “Stop this nonsense right now,” His father yells and he knows that it’s gaining an audience by the door, the sound of soft gasps filtering in the room. Joonmyun takes a deep breath before he hardens his eyes and looks at his parents. “I’m not talking nonsense.” He almost screams. “I’m in love with Kim Jongdae and if you can’t accept that then I’m more than prepared to give all of this,” he says gesturing to the company around him. “up.” His mother gasps and his father threateningly calls out his name. Joonmyun feels like it’s forever before his father speaks again. Joonmyun clenches his fist by his side as his father opens his mouth. His tone is seething as he says, “I never want to see you again.” Joonmyun can’t say he didn’t expect this as he walks out of the office, making his way through his staff and bidding them goodbye. He gives them all a weary smile as he walks with his back straight out of the company that was supposed to make him a business tycoon known all over the world. His secretary greets him out by the entrance. “I called you a cab sir,” she says and Joonmyun smiles at her gratefully. “Thank you, Soojung.” “I also did everything you asked of me. Everything you need is written here.” Soojung hands him a paper and he tucks it into his pocket. “It has been a pleasure working for you.” Soojung bows and Joonmyun has to lift her by the arms to get her to stand up straight again. “Likewise,” he says extending his arm and smiling as Soojung takes it. “Thank you, again.” Joonmyun enters the cab and doesn’t look back. He gives the cab driver the address written on the paper and closes his eyes, slowly letting his fate sink into his bones. The first thing Joonmyun does in his newfound freedom is ask Taeyeon out for lunch. Taeyeon wastes no time in agreeing. They meet at a cheap cafe hidden in the streets of Seoul. It’s a quiet cafe that Joonmyun found close to the motel he was staying at. “Why did you want to meet?” Taeyeon asks. Joonmyun avoids her eyes, looking down at his mug of coffee with guilt. He opens his mouth to say something but finds that the words he’d rehearsed won’t come out. “I —” He finds himself starting, but then closes his mouth, feeling his throat clog up. Taeyeon chuckles softly and Joonmyun whips his head up at the sound, seeing Taeyeon give him a playfully stern look. “Truthfully, I’m offended,” Taeyeon starts, crossing her arms as she playfully pouts at Joonmyun. “No one has ever dumped me before.” Joonmyun smiles, sensing the playful tone in Taeyeon’s voice and finding some comfort in it. He opens his mouth to speak but Taeyeon cuts him off. “But if you hadn’t called off the engagement, then I’m pretty sure we’d still both be stuck in an unwanted marriage.” Taeyeon smiles at him, soft and understanding. “I’m sorry,” Joonmyun says after a while. And Taeyeon just shakes her head at him. “There’s nothing to apologize.” She gives him a comforting smile. “What’s done is done. What matters is your happiness.” Taeyeon leans forward and rests her weight on her arms on the table. “Are you happy now, Joonmyun-ssi?” Joonmyun shakes his head, “Not yet.” Taeyeon smiles at him sympathetically, hand squeezing his arm in comfort. “Is this about Jongdae?” Joonmyun nods and shakily he says, not even bothering to question how she knew, “I messed up.” Taeyeon sighs and gives him an encouraging smile. “Just let time take it’s course. I’m sure everything that’s meant to be will fall into place.” “I hope you’re right.” “What are you going to do now, though?” The question catches him off guard but it makes him smile, glad that Taeyeon is concerned for him. He finds comfort in it, knowing he’s made friends despite all he’s done. “I’m going to run my own art gallery,” Joonmyun states, his eyes gleaming as he pictures the future. The vision of a life he has always wanted to live, slowly unfolds before him. “How are you gonna do that?” Taeyeon asks as she sips from her coffee and Joonmyun chuckles because he knows she’s asking about money. “Before I got disowned, I asked my secretary to deposit all the money I’ve earned by working for my family into a different bank account.” Joonmyun smirks at Taeyeon and the girl nods in approval at his smart move. “I wish you all the best, Joonmyun-ssi.” “Thank you, Taeyeon-ssi.” “If you ever need anything, I promise that you can come to me for help.” Taeyeon smiles at him and extends her hands. “Friends?” “Friends.” Joonmyun takes the hand in his and smiles at the comfort it brings. Another week has rolled by and Joonmyun is finalizing all the details of his art gallery when Jongdae finally calls him. Jongdae doesn't waste anytime when he tells him where and what time to meet, hanging up as soon as he's said all that he needs, stopping Joonmyun from blabbering about explaining. “You can tell me all you want then,” he tells Joonmyun before hanging up. Joonmyun can't say he's not disappointed by it but he also knows he deserves the cold treatment. They meet at the same cafe where they'd officially met for the first time. A lot of time has passed and by the time Joonmyun's seated on their usual table, he already knows all that needs to be said. All he needs now is the presence of Jongdae. Jongdae arrives not too long after. His mouth is set in a straight line, there are bags under his eyes and he looks like he hasn't been eating properly. Joonmyun frowns at the black coffee that Jongdae brings with him to the table but doesn't question it. "Talk," is all Jongdae says and Joonmyun takes a deep breath. "I'm sorry," he begins and he feels mildly offended when Jongdae scoffs. "I know what I did was wrong. I shouldn't have gone after you when I was engaged, especially when it was to your friend. But I'm not going to lie to you and tell you I regret it because I don't." Joonmyun smiles at all the memories they made and when he looks at the icy expression Jongdae is still sporting he doesn't stop smiling, knowing that everything is just a front. "I learned how to live because of you, that it was possible and I don't regret that." He stops talking for a few minutes, taking into consideration his next words before he lets them go. "I don't know if you've heard but I got disowned by my parents. I'm not saying it's because of you nor do I blame you for it. It's high time that I went and lived my life my way. And you made me realize that so I'm thankful for that, Jongdae." This time when he looks at Jongdae, there's an almost sympathetic look in his eyes and it gives him the courage to go on. "I'm starting over again and I've never been happier and freer." He smiles at Jongdae and he sees that Jongdae is trying his best to hold his composure. "I know everything is hard to believe right now. So I'm not going to force you into anything." He gives Jongdae a sad smile. "And that's why I'm going away for a while." "What?" Jongdae asks voice almost inaudible. "I have to prove myself to you first before I can pursue you. That is the only way I see it." Joonmyun smiles at Jongdae, the one that's always been for Jongdae and takes his hand in his. "When you see me again, all that will be left for us is our happy ending." He holds Jongdae's hand and kisses his fingers. "It's a promise," Joonmyun mutters, lips grazing Jongdae's fingers. Jongdae sits by his kitchen counter, mug of warm coffee in his paint covered hands. He looks at the time on his wall clock where the counter and the white wall meets. It’s almost time, he thinks. The buzz of the doorbell echoes in his house and Jongdae sighs as he stands up and goes out the front door. Opening the gate, he looks down to find a small blue box wrapped beautifully in a silver ribbon. His heart skips a beat as he picks it up and he looks around to make sure that no one is indeed in the area before going back inside, shoulders slumping just the slightest. Once back in the safety of his home, Jongdae pushes his cup of coffee aside to admire the small blue box, not larger than his hand. He bites his lip before tugging at the ends of the ribbon. With bated breath, he lifts the lid of the box and closes his eyes so he won’t see what’s inside just yet. When he’s ready, he opens his eyes for a peek and sees a silver pendant shaped like a paint brush inside. A post-it it note is rolled and tucked to the side and he takes it, carefully unrolling the small piece of paper. I saw this and thought of you. Have a great day, Jongdae-yah. Joonmyun Jongdae can’t fight the smile that decorates his face as he reads the message all over again. Covering the the box with the lid, Jongdae takes the note to his room and sticks it on his wall with some tape. He steps back a little and admires his sticky note covered wall, various colored small notes stuck onto it, each with a small message and all from none other than Joonmyun. He sits on his bed and smiles at the notes before standing back up to get the gift box that he’d left on the kitchen counter, bringing it back to his room to put it in a drawer where other gift boxes have been collected, opened and hidden for safekeeping. He smiles at the boxes for a little while before closing them and sitting back on his bed, facing the sticky note covered wall. A few days after Joonmyun left, gift boxes had begun appearing in front of his gate every day. After a few weeks, Jongdae had began plotting ways of catching just who exactly left those gift boxes. When he did manage to catch who it was, he was disappointed to find out that it wasn’t Joonmyun. Now, he just waited patiently for them to arrive. It’s been a year since. Jongdae opens the newspaper in his hands, going directly to the arts section of the paper and looking for articles of future competition. What catches his eyes instead are the headlines “The Guardian’s Collection, outshining galleries since it opened”. He scans the article, reading about the owner who’s named Suho and scoffs at the pun. There are snapshots of the gallery, featuring artworks from multiple artists but none of the photos have Suho in them. Putting the paper down, Jongdae goes back to people watching. A person walks right in front of him, a black beanie on his head and sunglasses covering his eyes and Jongdae shamelessly follows him with eyes, unsure why he feels compelled to do so. When the stranger walks inside of the cafe, hands tucked in his dark skinny jeans, Jongdae sucks in a breath. He knows that profile. “Joonmyun,” Jongdae whispers standing up and he tries to make his way to him, pushing people away and wondering when the cafe became so crowded. He pushes past a couple just as a girl hands ‘Joonmyun’ a cup of coffee. By the time he reaches where ‘Joonmyun’ is supposed to be standing, he’s already out the door, the girl who gave him coffee by his side. Jongdae shakes his head, and goes back to his table, feeling drained from losing all that adrenaline rush all of a sudden. “That wasn’t Joonmyun,” Jongdae repeats to himself over and over again. He can’t help but remember all those times he thought he’d seen Joonmyun as well but never got to confirm it was him. “It can’t be Joonmyun.” He drops his head in his hands and takes deep breaths. Jongdae doesn’t know why he keeps thinking he sees Joonmyun at the coffee shop when he knows Joonmyun’s gone far away. In the mirror, all Jongdae sees is a shell of the man that he used to be. There’s a faraway look in the reflection’s eyes, dark and heavy skin below the eyes and hollowed cheeks. He fixes his tie, tightening it around his neck just a little bit more until his breathing is labored. He pats his chest and feels the pendant underneath his crisp white dress shirt, fingering the shape of the paint brush just a little above where his heart should be. “Jongdae?” Taeyeon calls out from where she stands by the door. “Everyone’s waiting for you.” Jongdae takes one last look at the mirror, hoping for the day he sees himself instead of a skeleton to come soon. Only a few people have gathered around the room of the gallery but all the chairs are filled. There’s a lady at the front that Jongdae seems to find familiar but before he can approach her, Taeyeon leads him by the arm to take a seat on the side. “Small talk later, business now,” Taeyeon whispers into his ear and Jongdae sighs and shakes his head as Taeyeon gestures for the announcer to take the stage. “Good afternoon, everyone,” The announcer begins. “We are gathered here today to auction some of the finest works of Chen.” Thunder rumbles the sky and the rain falls just as the first piece of artwork is auctioned. Jongdae tunes everything out, uninterested by events like these. He stares out at the window, watching the rain pelt the window. Jongdae is taken out of his reverie when Taeyeon shakes him by the arm. “It’s the last piece now, you might want to pay attention,” She hisses and Jongdae rolls his eyes but does pay attention, watching the screen above to showcase his latest work which had been featured in a few exhibits already. “This is one of the Chen’s latest artwork called ‘the little things’,” the announcer states. Jongdae watches the picture of his painting, a pang in his heart making it hard for him to listen to the rest of the words the announcer is saying. He looks at the image of his painting, the sticky notes in his room immortalized in canvas. “The bidding starts at ten million won.” As the prices go higher and higher, Jongdae feels his nails dig into the skin of his palms. He bites his lip and tries not to let the tears that are threatening to slip from his eyes to fall. He takes a deep breath, mind going hazy with all the zeros from the prices the bidders are offering, wishing the person who’d truly appreciate his masterpiece would bid on it instead. Jongdae shakes his head at the thought and he opens his eyes, hardening his expression into something more stoic, something more detached. There’s a reason why he’d agreed to let that masterpiece be auctioned. “Five hundred million won,” The announcer calls out. The crowd is silent for a few seconds and Jongdae releases the breath he didn’t even know he was holding, loosening his clenched fists and feeling the pain of his nails digging into them soon after. He looks down to his shoes and utters, “Goodbye Joonmyun.” When no one offers a higher bid, the announcer continues, “Going once, going twice. Sold to ‘The Guardian’s Collection’ representative.” Jongdae looks up at the name of the bidder and sees the lady that seemed familiar to him stand up to make her way towards the announcer. For some unknown reason, Jongdae’s heart begins to thunder in his chest, rivaling the thunders that rumble the sky every once in a while. Taeyeon pulls Jongdae along to where the bidders finalize the payment for their bid, a few of them thank Jongdae for his beautiful works and he tries his best to pay them enough attention, returning their praise with thanks of his own. By the time the representative for ‘The Guardian’s Collection’ approaches him, Jongdae finally realizes where he’d seen this woman before. “...our gallery owner, Suho-ssi, would be so thrilled to know that he won your bid for ‘the little things’,” Jongdae hears her say but all he can think about is the question at the tip of his tongue. “Do you by any chance go to ‘Sweetest Sins’?” Jongdae asks referring to the cafe across the building where Joonmyun used to work. The lady is stunned for a moment before smiling sweetly at him. “Yes, I do,” She says as she chuckles softly. “Suho-ssi likes to buy his coffee there.” Jongdae hears the beat of his heart, going louder and faster as the pieces of the puzzle fall into place, little by little. “Does your boss happen to be in the area? Can I see him?” Jongdae asks, sounding mad and frantic even to his own ears. The lady looks at him weirdly before blurting out that their boss is outside waiting for them. Jongdae doesn’t waste even a second before he’s sprinting out of the gallery’s function room, going out into the main floor where artworks are displayed. He turns his head from side to side, scanning the room only to find that there is no one there. He takes a deep breath before he sprints out the front doors and braves the rain. There are cars in front of the gallery and all of them are heavily tinted. “Fuck,” Jongdae curses as he runs up and down the sidewalk looking through the cars as best as he can. He keeps on cursing as the rain falls harder, obscuring his vision. But even with the sound of rain almost deafening him, he hears the sound of a car door opening and closing and he turns around to find a platinum blond haired man stand in front of him, pale blue umbrella shielding him from the rain and dark sunglasses covering his eyes. The stance reminds him of the man he’d thought was Joonmyun those days in the cafe. The man approaches him, small smile on his lips as he slowly takes his glasses away from his face. Jongdae lets his tears mix with the rain when he sees the smile of the man, the familiar pull of lips upwards, the familiar warm brown eyes. His heart stutters at the sight of Joonmyun, looking as handsome as ever, even with his platinum blond hair that will take him some time to get used to. “Jongdae-yah,” Joonmyun says and Jongdae runs towards him, not caring if he’s soaking wet from the rain as he holds onto Joonmyun’s neck. “I’ve missed you, too.” Joonmyun laughs as Jongdae buries his wet face into Joonmyun’s neck. When Jongdae pulls back, Joonmyun makes sure he’s still in the vicinity of the umbrella. “I hate you so much,” Jongdae starts, letting the tears fall and choking with every sob . “You left! Who told you to leave? I just —I wanted you to choose but I didn’t want you to leave. Sure, I was angry but that didn’t mean you could leave me. You told me you loved me, why would you leave me? Why would you do that?” Jongdae punches Joonmyun on the arm as he rambles. “I didn’t want you to leave, idiot,” Jongdae whispers, leaning his head on Joonmyun’s shoulder. “I’m sorry,” Joonmyun says, looking apologetic as he holds onto one of Jongdae’s hands fisted on his black button down. “I wanted to prove myself to the both of us first before I could pursue you, that way I could make you believe that I deserved your love.” “That is the cheesiest thing someone’s ever told me,” Jongdae whispers, tears still falling from his eyes. “But that also makes sense.” He hiccups and Joonmyun laughs as he holds him with one arm. “Don’t leave me anymore,” Jongdae whispers as he wraps his arms around Joonmyun’s waist. “Never again,” Joonmyun whispers, kissing Jongdae’s temple. “Jongdae-yah,” Joonmyun calls as he stands in front of another masterpiece in his gallery. Jongdae mutters as he walks into the room, in front of him, he sees Joonmyun admiring his latest masterpiece. He can’t help the smirk that plays on his lips as he reaches Joonmyun’s side. Joonmyun wraps an arm around Jongdae’s waist and pulls him closer. Jongdae immediately settles into Joonmyun’s side, bodies slotting together perfectly. “What do you think?” Joonmyun asks, gesturing to the painting that takes up most of the wall. Jongdae cocks his head to the side before resting it on Joonmyun’s head. Jongdae takes in the painting, the large white wings sprouting from the man’s naked back to the little profile that is seen of the man’s face, obscured even further by the man’s platinum blond hair. The signature on the right corner of the painting makes him smile, the letters ‘Chen’s’ standing out on the man’s pale wrist, seemingly placed there like most of his signatures. “I love it,” Jongdae whispers sighing as Joonmyun presses him closer to his side. “And I love you,” Joonmyun replies, making Jongdae chuckle as he tries to push him away, muttering things about him being insufferable. “But you love it,” Joonmyun counters and Jongdae laughs as he rests his hands at the back of Joonmyun’s neck. “Yes, I do.” Joonmyun smiles at the confession, leaning in for a kiss. Jongdae closes his eyes and meets him halfway. The Guardian Collection is an art gallery in Korea famous for holding most of Chen’s famous masterpieces. From works like ‘the little things’ to his most recent masterpiece ‘The Angel of the Gallery’ which is rumored to be a gift to the gallery’s owner. NOTES NOTES NOTES questions? ask.fm. twitter. flavors. |
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i can't say that this story saved my life or anything haha no. it's just. it helped give me a little bit of strength. thank you for writing this. thank you for not taking it down.
((i had to check whether this journal was still active because i didn't really want to mention you on twitter when i'm currently taking a break from it haha))
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i've always wanted to give authors some form of happiness, which is why i try to comment every time. so i'm very touched that my feelings got to you, even tho they're not something i'd want to burden a stranger with.
and you're absolutely right. if i can find happiness in the smallest of things, i'd have done a service to myself. i guess that's why jongdae's 'the little things' made me cry so hard. i'm sobbing as i type this out haha im sorry i'm so emotional and you don't need to know this but i just, want to explain how much this story means to me.
i've checked your twitter and i'm happy to see that you've been writing again. i'll try to read your other fics when i can. much love xx
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but aside from that little line tho, everything else i've said stays the same :)
ah yes, my slump year was 2014 def and hopefully i can write more suchen that i can be proud of this 2015 :)
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