wheredreamslast | jundae; Love Me Goodbye [Oneshot]

Title: Love Me Goodbye
Pairing: Chen/Suho
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 2261 words
Summary: Jongdae and Joonmyun were meant to love, to crash and burn, right from the start.
Notes: Originally posted as a pinchhit for

e2x2o on

sncj_santa

This fic has been edited! I fixed some of the wording that didn't feel right or awkward, a few grammar errors and typos... other than that, it stays 95% the same as the original post.

Jongdae watched as slowly but surely his relationship began to fall apart. His fingers crackled with energy and he could feel the anger rush through him like adrenaline. But it seemed as though he was just watching from the sidelines, seeing himself and his lover scream their heads off.

"Why don't we just end this?" Joonmyun whispered after the lull of their shouting match. He turned away from Jongdae, almost as if he couldn't handle the sight of him. That thought made Jongdae's blood run cold.

Jongdae’s breath caught in his throat at the mention of the end. His fiery thoughts of hurt and anger halted in his mind as he stared down at his partner's back, slumped down like the years weighed him down. There didn't seem to be a trace of the man who first asked him out all those years ago, who stood with confidence that could compare to no one. Jongdae tightened his fists as the sparks in his fingers intensified with his emotions. He could already feel the energy charge in the air and if he and Joonmyun get into another screaming match, he knew that something terrible would happen.

Jongdae wanted to tell Joonmyun No, because most days he thought that their relationship was worth saving. But at the same time, he didn't know. He didn't know if he could continue to stand beside Joonmyun who hasn't stopped tearing his heart apart since they've gotten together. It made absolutely no sense, how Jongdae and Joonmyun loved each other so much and yet, their nights ended with silent nights and cold bedsides.

"Maybe," Jongdae said after a while, falling down on one of the chairs in the living room.

Joonmyun's feet scratched the ground as he turned around, drawing Jongdae to lock eyes with him. Different kinds of emotions swam in Joonmyun's eyes but they constantly flickered with hurt and sadness. He could see little droplets begin falling from Joonmyun's fingertips, as if his eyes refused to cry, but his body needed another outlet for liquid sadness.

Jongdae's fingers spasmed from all the energy he tried to contain. With the way that Joonmyun looked at him, his feelings surged out of control, making it harder and harder to stop lightning from coming out of him.

"So that's it? Five years and we end with maybe?" Joonmyun said through gritted teeth. He took the few steps that would bring him closer to Jongdae, dropping to his knees when he was just centimeters away.

"You're the one who suggested it," Jongdae couldn't help but bite back. Joonmyun seemed unfazed as he watched Jongdae closely, studying him like an open book. "It's just—we've been together for so long—it feels like all we've done is break each other apart, build ourselves back up only to break us apart again.” Jongdae opened and closed his hands, desperately reigning in the power behind them. “I don't think I can do this anymore."

Joonmyun hesitantly took Jongdae's hand in his, their water and sparks making the contact hurt in a way that they're used to. Jongdae flinched as Joonmyun's grip tightened, bringing their hands up together to his lips. "I don't think I can let you go." Joonmyun's breath was warm on their hands and his lips so soft. Jongdae almost, almost fell for it.

He slid off the couch and knelt down in front of Joonmyun, their knees touching and their hands still tightly clasped together. "Joonmyun please," Jongdae whispered, his hands spasming every few seconds. He tried to pull his hands away, desperately trying to control them despite the energy Joonmyun was feeding them. "Let me go."

Joonmyun's face fell at Jongdae's words, hands loosening from the shock. In all their fights, Joonmyun always brought up the break up. He used it like a weapon and then he baited Jongdae into always, always staying. But this time, Jongdae didn't think he could do it. Not anymore. He took his hands back to his lap and curled them into fists, feeling the charge in the air feel less of a storm cloud.

"That's it?" Joonmyun asked, sounding more broken than he ever was compared to all their other fights.

"I'm sorry," Jongdae said for lack of better words. "I'm just not happy anymore." Jongdae closed his eyes, shielding himself from the pain he was inflicting on Joonmyun. "We're not happy anymore."

Joonmyun stayed quiet and Jongdae couldn't muster enough courage to see how he was taking Jongdae's words.

"I can't remember a time when we were just happy being together. Maybe in the beginning, but after that, what? It seems like all we've really done these past five years was fight and fight." Jongdae took a deep breath, his energy zapping out of him with his tirade and the sparks that won't stop lighting.

A soft touch broke him away from his thoughts. When he looked up, he found Joonmyun eyes on him, filled with pain and anguish. "Will that make you happy?"

Jongdae nuzzled against the touch, drawing himself closer to Joonmyun's heat. Even if he didn't admit it, he couldn't deny that he was addicted to the feeling of sparks on his skin whenever Joonmyun touched him.

"I don't know," he replied almost unconsciously.

"Then what will make you happy?"

You, Jongdae almost said, but he held it in. He wasn't going to say it. He wasn't going to fall for that trap. Not again.

Instead of answering, Jongdae caressed Joonmyun's face and planted a soft kiss on his lips. He meant for it to be a distraction, so he could think of what to do, where to go from here. Just before he could push away, Joonmyun grabbed the back of his head and deepened the kiss.

Joonmyun easily took control of the kiss, tangling his fingers with Jongdae's hair and angling his head however he liked. Jongdae couldn't find it in himself to fight back. He'd always loved the way Joonmyun kissed, hard and rough, with a little hint of gentleness as he caressed Jongdae's jaw. It was enough to send his blood rushing, pushing Jongdae closer to Joonmyun until he was sitting on his lap.

When they finally broke apart, Jongdae gasped, breathing in all the air he could. It was only Joonmyun who could still make it seem like this was Jongdae's first kiss all over again.

"Joonmyun," Jongdae started, his breath still uneven. He laid a hand on Joonmyun's shoulder, ready to push him away. But Joonmyun took hold of his hand, gripped it tightly and pulled him in for another kiss. At the bite on his bottom lip, Jongdae knew something was wrong. He tried to fight back, pulling away, only to have Joonmyun follow.

Joonmyun's kisses became rougher, pushing himself against Jongdae before pushing them off the ground. Jongdae gasped as the movement jostled their kiss, but whatever happened, Joonmyun never let go. He kept them upright, kept their lips tied to each other's as he maneuvered them to their room. When they reached the bed, he carefully laid Jongdae down and began to soften their kiss, just coaxing Jongdae's mouth open and sliding his hands up and down his body.

Jongdae moaned, sinking deeper into the pleasure that Joonmyun brought, and wrapped his arms around Joonmyun's neck. He could tell there was something different about the way Joonmyun touched and kissed him but he didn't quite know how to name it. It was all too easy to forget the problems when Joonmyun's lips met his skin.

Joonmyun always had cool fingers and when they touched Jongdae's feverish skin, it was as if he was breathing for the first time. Joonmyun made him feel like he was drowning in a cool ocean, his sparks of electricity reacting violently within him. It was out of control. It was magic. It was love.

Jongdae gasped as Joonmyun's hand made quick work of his clothes, bringing him back to the reality of the situation. There was an urgency in the way his hands moved, a desperation in his eyes that Jongdae hadn't seen before. And then lightning crashed outside, bathing them in its light for the briefest of seconds. Jongdae’s eyes widened as he understood what exactly Joonmyun was trying to do. He tried not to let it show on his face, keeping his expressions devoid of any sadness or pity as he helped Joonmyun undress himself. Because it didn't matter whatever it was Joonmyun did to tie Jongdae down, Jongdae had made up his mind. The least he could do was indulge Joonmyun in his fantasy.

Jongdae finished tugging off Joonmyun's pants, bringing him down on top of him and feeling the sparks explode where their skin met. He would never tire of this feeling filled with pain and pleasure, much more addicting than drugs. Joonmyun smiled down at him, and Jongdae smiled back, trying his best to act normal.

He let Joonmyun have his way, planting soft pecks all over his body and charging the electricity running through his body with each peck. He could hear the beginnings of rain start pouring down and he knew that a storm was about to come. Jongdae closed his eyes and focused on the feeling of Joonmyun on top of him. His breath was warm on his skin and his lips were soft, so gentle as they trailed over his body. He whimpered at the thought that one day, soon, he wouldn't be able to have this anymore. These feelings of warmth and love, of hate and anger, would all go away soon and he'd be left with only the ghost of the memories.

Joonmyun made stars explode behind his eyes and when he opened them, Jongdae couldn't tell what was going on. He burned from so many places and others sparked like firecrackers from within. It felt so different and yet, at the same time, it was all the same, the same old fire, lightning and water, burning and crackling, and then he gasped.

Joonmyun bit him, hard and painful. His eyes cracked open to find Joonmyun licking the dents of his teeth on his collarbone. Joonmyun looked up and their eyes met. He didn't pull away as he bit and licked Jongdae's body, sucking them until they bruised red and purple. Jongdae gasped for air, as if Joonmyun was water, drowning him with each bite and lick. His mouth was warm and cold at the same time, it was maddening.

Joonmyun eventually reached his goal, having Jongdae bent almost in half, his mouth pressed against his sensitive entrance. Jongdae whimpered and begged as Joonmyun did whatever he wanted, the feeling of mouth and tongue and then teeth. Jongdae shuddered as the pleasure running through his body reached greater heights. He needed more and he begged for more, his breath going from soft to loud, his fingers tangling in Joonmyun's hair.

"Joonmyun, please please, more more," he gasped as Joonmyun put in two fingers, sliding it in between his tongue. But Joonmyun didn't listen and Jongdae had to bite his lip, knowing that the more he begged the more unwilling Joonmyun would be to please him. He took deep breaths to distract him from the need, to keep his head afloat but nothing worked. Joonmyun's fingers and mouth worked like magic, enchanting his attention so it could focus on him.

"I love you, only you. Forever," Joonmyun whispered by Jongdae's ears, leaning down against him and pressing his arousal right where Jongdae wanted it.

"I love you, too, always, always love you," Jongdae cried out as Joonmyun entered him. He held onto his Joonmyun's back for support, his nails digging in deeper than he meant, leaving his own marks on Joonmyun's body. He couldn't think about the pain as he made more of them, his thoughts drifting to the feeling of Joonmyun inside of him, trying to keep himself in place as Joonmyun went harder and deeper.

The feeling was both gentle and rough, with Joonmyun's hips setting different paces throughout. Jongdae groaned as he lost himself in Joonmyun's movement, holding onto him tighter and crying out, almost screaming in their room. In his little moments of sanity, he could hear the rain outside crash through the windows. He gasped as Joonmyun rolled his hips, thrusting into him with no rhythm. Jongdae thrashed in Joonmyun's arms as his own orgasm got closer and closer.

Lightning roared as Jongdae came, gasping and groaning as Joonmyun kept him trapped in his arms, close to his own release. When Joonmyun finally came, the storm began, rain and thunder singing a chorus as Joonmyun panted and shuddered deep inside of Jongdae.

"I love you," Joonmyun whispered as he held Jongdae in his arms tightly. Don't go. Stay with me forever.

Jongdae turned to face Joonmyun, caressed his face and kissed him lightly on the lips. He smiled at his lover one last time before Joonmyun drifted off to sleep. Jongdae didn't sleep. He'd waited until Joonmyun's breath evened before escaping the tight embrace Joonmyun had him in.

"I'm sorry," Jongdae whispered as he brushed Joonmyun's fringe aside. He kissed him on the forehead before putting his clothes back on. He grabbed a small suitcase and packed only the things that he needed. Before he left, he got a paper and pen.

Joonmyun,

There will come a time for the both of us. But right now, the two of us together is just a deadly storm. I'm sorry.

Always remember that I will never love another like I love you.

Jongdae

a/n: Title and cut came from One Direction's Love You Goodbye. Give it a shot, it's beautiful! Also, I'd really like to thank e2x2o for giving me this wonderful opportunity to write toxic relationship jundae with a sad ending BUT MOST OF ALL FOR GIVING ME THE POWER TO WRITE STORM-MAKING-SEX JUNDAE HAPPEN IN ACTUAL FIC. Thank you! BOWS.
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