Chapter 13
"Your Highness," Minseok greeted, placing the tea set down on the king's surprisingly clean table. Joonmyun stood in front of the window, hands behind his back and eyes on the horizon. "I have your tea."
"Thank you," he said. Joonmyun turned away from the window and took his seat by the desk.
"What's wrong?" Minseok finally asked, taking the chair at the front of the desk.
Joonmyun looked Minseok in the eye. "I've been doing a lot of thinking and,” took a long sip of his tea, “I think I love Jongdae."
"You think?"
Joonmyun shot Minseok a look. "I'm not too sure of my feelings yet, but I had an epiphany back in the car. I realize how lucky I am to still be alive today and I don't want to waste whatever years I've got left worrying about my feelings for Jongdae. All I know is I want him to rule by my side for the rest of our lives, to raise our child together and it may or may not be love, but I think it's somewhere there."
Minseok chuckled. "I do believe that's love, Your Highness. But judging by the wrinkle between your forehead, that's not all you were thinking about?"
"Yes, well, while I was thinking of ways to express how I felt, I remembered that the treaty had been signed. The purpose of our union has already been fulfilled, and I didn't even need to be in love with him for it to happen."
"But it's too late now," Minseok whispered like an afterthought.
"Yes, it's too late now. I already harbor such deep affection for Jongdae, but I'm not sure he shares the same sentiments as I do, especially now that there is no point in marrying each other."
"What about the baby?"
Joonmyun took a deep breath and closed his eyes. "I'm afraid that Jongdae might be scared of having the child. He was so scared when we found out that he refused to look at the ultrasound photos. It might've been too soon for him."
"So you think that even with the baby, he might not stay?"
"I think that the baby might be the very reason he leaves." He pinched the bridge nose.
"What do you want to do then?"
"I want to talk with Jongdae first, hear what he wants to do about our situation. I realize now that consulting everyone without talking to him first was selfish. It's as much his child as it is mine."
"And if he decides that he doesn't want to continue with the marriage?"
Joonmyun smiled sadly at his cup of tea. "Then just like I promised him, I'll let him go."
"You won't even tell him about your feelings? What about you? What about what you want to do?" Joonmyun was taken aback by the sudden anger in Minseok's tone, but he understood that Minseok, as his friend, cared for him. Minseok looked apologetic after the outburst but waited for Joonmyun to answer his questions.
"I want to," Joonmyun admitted. "But I don't want my feelings to influence his decisions. He's been so selfless throughout this whole thing and I don't want to trap him in an arrangement that won't make him happy."
"What about you? Don't you think you deserve to choose as well? You've been just as selfless since you took on the crown. Just because you're giving Jongdae the power to make decisions doesn't mean you have to sacrifice your own happiness."
Joonmyun took a deep breath and smiled at Minseok. "Thank you for your concern, Minseok. You're a good friend, but whatever Jongdae decides, I'm sure I'll be more than all right with it.
"Even if it means happiness that's not by your side?"
"Yes."
Minseok sighed. He stood up and poured himself some tea, downing it quickly before sitting back down again. "You're really—" Minseok paused, pursed his lips tight, and took a deep breath. Joonmyun was expecting him to say stupid or frustrating. "—admirable," was what Minseok said instead. "You're not just a good king, Joonmyun. You're a great person, too."
Joonmyun just chuckled because deep down inside his stomach twisted in knots when he thought that Jongdae might not love him as much as he loved Jongdae. The fear alone made it hard to close his eyes, to rest up for the day.
The sun had just risen when Joonmyun received word that his family was home. He'd already been awake but still laid in bed deep in thought. The news was enough to get him jumping out of his duvet, feet bare as he made his way down to the entry hall where he could already hear their soft murmuring.
Joonmyun saw Jongdae first, but it was Jongdae who ran up to him and threw himself in Joonmyun's arms. Joonmyun, despite the surprise, managed to catch Jongdae, steadying his stance on the ground so they wouldn't stumble. He smiled and closed his eyes, wrapping his own arms around Jongdae.
"I'm so glad you're safe," Jongdae kept muttering. Before Joonmyun could return the sentiment, Jongdae cradled his face in his hands and inspected him before crashing their lips together. It caught Joonmyun by surprise but quickly returned it. He threaded his fingers in Jongdae's hair and angled their heads to kiss Jongdae gently.
Joonmyun’s heart pounded, the blood rushing in his ears, and all he could think about was how happy he was to have Jongdae in his arms again. When they pulled away, Jongdae rested his head against Joonmyun's, smiling in relief before pushing Joonmyun back.
"We need to talk," he whispered.
Joonmyun swallowed, hoping to calm down his heart. "Yes, we should," he replied. Before he could pull Jongdae aside, a few members of his family whistled at their display of affection.
"Joonmyun," Jongshin said, wrapping his arms around the young king. Joonmyun couldn't do more than return the hug. Soon, everyone was hugging him or each other. A few of the younger children cried and Joonmyun offered some of the guest rooms for them to rest in.
"Hyung, I'm so glad you're okay," Jongin said once he finally had Joonmyun in his arms. "How did you do it, hyung? No one could tell us anything."
Joonmyun gave them a shaky smile. "Why don't we head on to the dining room so everyone can eat while I tell you guys what happened?"
"Sounds like a great idea," Jaehyun said, almost exaggeratedly. A couple of the parents chuckled, ushering their kids towards the dining room.
Joonmyun waited until he was by Jongdae's side once more before following. He couldn't help his need to be around the omega, a part of his instincts telling him to protect the younger. He loosely linked their fingers together and made sure Jongdae sat close to him on the table.
"Tell us, Joonmyun," his aunt Joomin started. "What happened? Why did Alpha King Kyuhyun back out? How did you make him retreat?"
Joonmyun took a deep breath, catching the sweet aroma of Jongdae's scent, and told everyone everything that happened the day before. He tried to be less graphic when it came to the younger cousins, but most of them were too busy eating. Once the kids were ushered into guest rooms to rest, only the adults stayed and Joonmyun openly spoke about the issue between Sungmin and Kyuhyun.
"I almost can't believe that worked," Jongin said aloud.
"So it's over?" Jongdae said, voice soft at first. "Alpha King Kyuhyun has signed the treaty?"
Joonmyun swallowed the lump in his throat and tried his best to smile. "Yes, he has."
He could almost hear it in the quiet, the soft question that plagued not only him, but now, Jongdae as well. We don't have to push through with the engagement anymore?
His family seemed to notice the tense air around them because they quickly excused themselves to different parts of the castle. Jongin and Kyungsoo lingered for a second more before urging Sunny to accompany them to Jongin's old room. Jongdae took one more mouthful of his rice before setting the bowl down.
Joonmyun drank the last of his tea and took a deep breath.
"Do you want to rest first?"
"We need to talk."
They both said it at the same time. They turned to each other, eyes wide, and Jongdae chuckled. "I think now's a good time as any."
"Are you sure? I know you're tired and it's been a really long few days for you. If you want to rest, I won't mind delaying our talk."
"I think it'd be best if we talked now. I—I kinda don't wanna forget all the things I wanna say."
"I see, of course. I think it would be best if we talked in my room then. In case you feel tired or sleepy, at least there will be a bed nearby."
"Okay." Jongdae got up from his seat and Joonmyun led the way to his room. They walked side by side, Jongdae looking up at the walls of the castle, admiring the designs. Joonmyun swallowed the growing lump in his throat the closer they reached his room.
"Have a seat," Joonmyun said, gesturing to the long couch at the foot of his bed. He caught sight of his unkempt bed and quickly tried to fix the pillows, but Jongdae's eyes busied themselves with taking in the other elements occupying the space.
Once Joonmyun deemed his bed good enough, he joined Jongdae on the couch.
"You have a really big bedroom," Jongdae gushed, gaze lingering on the desk opposite them.
Joonmyun wanted to say that this could be their room when they got married but quickly swallowed down the words. He reached out for Jongdae's hand and Jongdae sidled closer to him, their arms brushing.
"How are you?" Joonmyun asked. "And the baby?" His eyes lingered on Jongdae's stomach for a second before meeting Jongdae's eyes.
"There wasn't much equipment back in the safe house so Sunny said that the best that I could do was not stress while we were there. Easier said than done really, but Jongin and Kyungsoo tried their best to make me feel better and your uncle Jongshin and aunt Joomin kept feeding me all the good food. It really helped."
Joonmyun relaxed onto Jongdae's side. "That's good to hear." Another quiet moment passed between them and Joonmyun took it upon himself to start. "I know I should've asked this sooner, but how do you feel about the baby?"
"What?"
Joonmyun gave him sad smile. "I know you were scared back when we first found out and I want—need to know how you feel about it. I'm sorry I didn't ask sooner but—"
"It's okay." Jongdae gripped his hand tight and eased back onto the couch. "I probably didn't do a good job of hiding my fear, but I did a lot of thinking when I got home that night and then more thinking at the safe house and I want to keep the baby."
Joonmyun sighed in relief, feeling the burden chip away from his shoulders. Jongdae chuckled at his obvious relief.
"Were you worried I'd give it up or something?"
Joonmyun stiffened. "No—I don't know... A little." He smiled apologetically at Jongdae before looking away. "Mostly, I had all these thoughts about what you might want to do and wasn't sure which one you were most likely to go with."
"Sorry. I was just caught so off guard, you know? I was okay with marrying you because I didn't really expect so much to change with my life; I was sure you'd be really considerate with me and my choices, like going back to work after our wedding, having kids in the far future—things like that. The baby kind of took me by surprise because if I had a baby now, I'd have to take time off, I'd have to raise the child and I thought maybe you'd want me to quit my job to raise the baby and it made me panic." Jongdae leaned his head on Joonmyun's shoulder.
"Don't worry," Joonmyun said, twining their fingers together. "You don't have to do everything alone. This is our child. We don't have to do anything you're not comfortable with. If you don't want to quit your job, then we'll consider nannies and I'll always be around to help raise them."
"Really?"
"Of course." Joonmyun could feel his nerves start up as he tried to bring up the subject he really wanted to talk about. "But that's not all I wanted to talk about.”
"I guessed." Jongdae snorted. "I could feel you tense up, you know?"
Joonmyun flushed but decided not to argue, wanting to get straight to the point. "Now that Alpha King Kyuhyun has signed the treaty, there's no more reason for us to go through with the arrangement—"
"What!?" Jongdae quickly pulled back, hand on his stomach and eyed Joonmyun like he'd been burned. "What do you mean there's no reason for us to stay together? What do you think our baby is?"
"Jongdae," Joonmyun tried to appease. "That's not what I was trying to say. Please, let me finish first."
"Then what are you trying to say?" Jongdae got off the couch, but Joonmyun pulled him back.
"Wait, please, I'm sorry. I probably shouldn't have worded it that way. Let me explain to you what I really meant." He gently pulled Jongdae back to the couch, sitting him down and practically kneeling down in front of him to keep Jongdae seated.
Jongdae refused to look him in the eyes. Joonmyun sighed and pulled Jongdae's hands into his own. "I didn't mean for it to sound like that." Joonmyun rested his head on Jongdae's lap. "But I've been doing some thinking and I don't want you to stay by my side just because we have a child together. I want you to want to marry me because you want to, without having to think about our child."
"Joonmyun—"
"But I also promised you that if you ever wanted to end the arrangement, then we could and now that there's no more treaty to sign, you're free to go if you want. Our child will always be ours. We don't need to be married for them to inherit the throne."
"Joonmyun," Jongdae whispered, pulling Joonmyun up so they could sit together. Joonmyun kept his head low and Jongdae leaned in to rest their heads together. "What about you? What do you want?"
Joonmyun pulled back. It never occurred to him that Jongdae would ask him what he wanted. He almost couldn't answer, but Jongdae looked at him, searched his eyes and the words left his lips much easier than he thought they would.
"I want you."
"Then you have me."
Jongdae wrapped his arms around Joonmyun and pulled him in for a kiss. Joonmyun smiled when their lips met. Jongdae kissed with an eagerness that was hard to match and Joonmyun took it all in, savored the feeling, the heat burning in his lungs as their hearts beat together. Their hearts didn’t beat in sync, but in a rhythm that was solely theirs.
Jongdae was the first to pull away, caging Joonmyun in his arms and resting his head on the alpha’s chest. He chuckled. “As much as I would like to get hot and heavy with you, I’m really tired now.”
Joonmyun felt Jongdae relax against him. “I see,” he whispered. “Then let’s get you tucked in.” He half carried Jongdae to his bed, wrapping the thick blanket over his frame and made to leave.
“Wait.” Jongdae caught him by the wrist. “Stay with me?” he whispered, eyes blinking up at him, wide and beautiful. Joonmyun took a deep breath and nodded. He carefully snuck under the covers. Jongdae sighed once their bodies were close enough, resting his head on Joonmyun’s chest.
“Much better,” Jongdae whispered.
Joonmyun smiled. He felt the same.
Joonmyun blinked open his eyes and smiled at the tuft of hair that greeted him. Jongdae groaned on his chest and turned around to curl in on himself. Joonmyun couldn’t help but smile even wider, wrapping his arm over Jongdae’s waist and pulling the younger to his chest. He took a deep inhale of the omega’s scent, burying himself in the addictive sweetness.
“Joonmyun,” Jongdae murmured. Joonmyun hummed but Jongdae turned in his arms.
“I’m sorry,” Joonmyun whispered. “Did I wake you?”
“Nah.” Jongdae snuggled into his chest, looping his arms around his back. “The sun was too bright so I woke up a bit. What time is it?”
Joonmyun tried to read the clock from where he lay. “Somewhere around eleven in the morning.”
“Should we go down to eat lunch or something?”
“Do you want to?”
Jongdae thought about it for a moment before sighing in Joonmyun’s chest. “I want to cuddle with you a little more. Is that okay?”
“Yes, of course. That is always okay.” Joonmyun tightened his hold on Jongdae and adjusted their position on the bed.
They laid like that for a couple more minutes before Jongdae let out an exasperated sigh.
“I’m awake now,” he said and Joonmyun chuckled, combing his fingers through Jongdae’s hair.
“Is there something you’d like to do now that you’re awake?”
Jongdae chuckled and peered up at Joonmyun. “You keep asking me what I want, but what do you want to do, my Alpha King?”
Joonmyun flushed at the petname and for a moment he forgot what he wanted to say. After clearing his throat a couple times and avoiding the teasing glint in Jongdae’s eyes, he finally remembered. “I actually want to talk, if that’s all right with you. I believe there is much more we still need to discuss regarding our relationship.”
“You’re so cute,” Jongdae complimented, reaching forward to plant a kiss on the apples of Joonmyun’s cheeks. “And yes, we can definitely talk. What else is there to talk about?”
"Well, now that we've decided that we both want this—" he reached for Jongdae’s hand, "—we both want us. What do we do now?"
“What do you mean?”
“Do you want to get married on the date the ERU planned or sooner? Should you start living in the castle to learn your duties as Omega Prince Consort? Do you want to get married at all?" Joonmyun asked all the questions ringing in his head and Jongdae laughed them all off.
“Woah, Joonmyun, stop right there.” He pressed a hand on Joonmyun’s chest as if to emphasize his point. “Take a deep breath and I will answer your question one by one.”
On the first breath, Jongdae said, “I definitely think we should get married.” There was a faint dusting of pink on his cheeks as he avoided Joonmyun’s gaze, eyes on their still linked hands. “And the sooner that we can the better. Don’t get me wrong. It’s not like I haven’t been thinking about this. When I told you that I was thinking in the safe house, our marriage was definitely something that came to mind a couple of times.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, I mean,” Jongdae’s flush deepened but this time he met Joonmyun’s eyes. “I love you. I’ve known that for quite a while now so I don’t mind marrying you earlier or later. As long as we do.”
Joonmyun brushed a few strands of Jongdae’s hair away from his face. “Then let’s get married. As soon as we possibly can.”
“Sounds like a plan to me.”
Joonmyun didn’t let him say anything else as he captured his lips in a soft kiss. Jongdae smiled when he returned the kiss, slowly but surely turning it into something more passionate.
If they left the room a few hours later, clothes and hair askew, no one seemed to mind because their smiles were wide and their hearts were one. |
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wheredreamslast2017-02-04 12:12 am
