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wheredreamslast2013-06-28 11:59 pm
darkyulate) wrote in wheredreamslast2013-06-28 11:59 pm
Entry tags:
A Morning Without Coffee [Oneshot]
Title: A Morning Without Coffee
Pairing: Chen/Suho
Rating: PG-13
Summary: When Joonmyun wakes up to no coffee and cereal for breakfast thanks to Jongdae, all hell breaks lose.
Note: Written as a fill for this prompt on![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
exopromptmeme.
Author's Note: I'm incredibly sorry to the anon who requested this because (even though I'm not the same anon who replied to your prompt) this took so long and I felt so bad for the both of us that I wrote one. Also, I really really really really suck at comedy so I'm sorry you had to put up with this. I'm also sorry tosardothien because she was writing this around the same time I was about to finish this and I'm just, I'm really sorry T_____T In any case please do enjoy. (I don't usually write a/n on the first part but this needed to be read OTL).
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a/n: thanks toaethernity for betaing for last minute. I don't really require betas for things like these but this was my first public suchen (definitely not the first one I've written) and I felt really insecure about it because it's comedy and I really suck at comedy like there is no comedy in the fibers of my body and stuff and this was suchen so I wanted it to be good but /sighs/. Not only that, I'm also sorry this is OOC but with Joonmyun it's a little justified but I'm still having a hard time characterizing Jongdae tbh but hey the beauty of AU, yes? To ANON: I hope this is ok n_n to the other author who said she'd fill this... I know you're better than me so please do fill it. I suck really. I can't do my OTPs justice. /sobs/
Pairing: Chen/Suho
Rating: PG-13
Summary: When Joonmyun wakes up to no coffee and cereal for breakfast thanks to Jongdae, all hell breaks lose.
Note: Written as a fill for this prompt on
exopromptmeme.Author's Note: I'm incredibly sorry to the anon who requested this because (even though I'm not the same anon who replied to your prompt) this took so long and I felt so bad for the both of us that I wrote one. Also, I really really really really suck at comedy so I'm sorry you had to put up with this. I'm also sorry to
sardothien because she was writing this around the same time I was about to finish this and I'm just, I'm really sorry T_____T In any case please do enjoy. (I don't usually write a/n on the first part but this needed to be read OTL).Joonmyun dries off his hair with the towel around his neck as he opens the cupboard to grab the box of cereal so he can eat breakfast. As soon as he lifts the box, he notices the lightness. He proceeds to shake it and checks to see if it’s even enough for one bowl. He grimaces when he sees that it isn’t.
He sighs as he opens the fridge to check if there’s milk; he might as well finish what’s left of the cereal. He finds the carton and grabs it. Once again, the lightness shocks him. He shakes the milk carton and gapes because it’s absolutely empty. He can feel a vein pop in his forehead.
He takes deep breaths to cool down. He doesn’t really want to be angry so early in the morning. Maybe drinking some hot coffee will help, he decides. So he continues his rummaging in the kitchen in search of instant coffee packets, and what he finds instead is the last packet, empty and still on the counter. Joonmyun thinks it’s alright to be angry so early in the morning.
“Kim Jongdae!” He yells. In no time, his roommate appears in their kitchen looking like he’d just woken up. Joonmyun has to stop himself from thinking how adorable his roommate looks right now.
“What?” Jongdae snaps like Joonmyun’s outburst is ruining his day.
“I was okay with you finishing the cereal, the milk or even the coffee, but couldn’t you have at least thrown your trash away?” Joonmyun reprimands, gesturing to the evidence placed on the counter.
Jongdae smirks at him and Joonmyun swears he could’ve punched the younger right there and then. “I know you’d do it, that’s why I didn’t throw them away.”
Joonmyun can feel the vein on his forehead swell as he tries his best not to beat the crap out of Jongdae. ’Deep breaths’, he thinks to himself. He balls his fists and tries his hardest to keep them plastered to his side because Kim Jongdae is asking for it.
“Look,” Joonmyun seethes, “I’m not your mother. I don’t have to look after you. We’re roommates and part of the deal was that you cleaned up after yourself.” Joonmyun takes another deep breath as he steels his gaze on Jongdae. The younger only smirks at him, sipping his cup of coffee like he knows he’s won some kind of game. Joonmyun can’t help wishing for the coffee to suddenly spill all over Jongdae.
“I don’t have to since you do it for me.” Jongdae says confidently. He obviously doesn’t know what kind of situation he’s just put himself in. Joonmyun glares at Jongdae because this may have been caused by his kindness, his need to look after Jongdae because he is younger than him. But Joonmyun is so pissed right now all of his morals are going out the window. He’s angry because he hasn’t had his morning coffee and cereal breakfast and Jongdae is leaving trash all over their kitchen as if to spite him. He exhales a very lengthy and shaky breath; Jongdae is going to get it, and he will make sure Jongdae suffers.
When Joonmyun smirks at Jongdae with that evil glint in his eyes, Jongdae chokes on his coffee. Joonmyun has never ever given him that look before and he realizes he may have just crossed a line.
Joonmyun doesn’t bother waiting for Jongdae to set his coffee down before he pulls him to the bathroom, locks him in and shouts orders for him to take a bath and get dressed. He adds how he’d better hurry or else he will throw away all of Jongdae’s sheet music. Joonmyun’s voice is of utmost seriousness, like he really means it, so Jongdae scrambles to finish his usual hour-long routine in five minutes or less.
Jongdae shuffles out of his room another five minutes (or less) later, his hair dripping wet and marring his light blue shirt with blotches, and sees Joonmyun walking towards the window, holding some of his sheet music. “Shit,” he curses as he rushes to Joonmyun who looks just about as ready as he is.
“Hyung! Hyung!” He calls out holding onto Joonmyun’s wrist to grab a hold of his life that is literally about to be thrown out the window. “I’m done! I’m done. You don’t need to throw these away.” He takes a deep breath, the adrenaline rush he felt at the fear of losing his life slowly dispersing, and takes the stack of papers in Joonmyun’s hands to place them somewhere else, preferably a place where Joonmyun won’t be able to simply take them out and throw them away like that.
“Good.” Joonmyun replies curtly as he tosses Jongdae his wallet. Before Jongdae can even ask him how he’d gotten it, he adds, “You’re buying me breakfast and replacing the coffee, milk and cereal you finished.”
He turns and makes sure Jongdae is following him as he locks the door to their apartment.
The reality of the situation hits Jongdae as Joonmyun walks away from their locked apartment door. His jaw drops to the ground. He doesn’t have the luxury of treating someone as well as buying all the other things Joonmyun had mentioned. He doesn’t have the money and Joonmyun very well knows this. It’s the reason they’re even living together, because they’re poor. How can Joonmyun just carelessly order him like that? He makes a sound to word his protests but Joonmyun cuts him off with that look that scares the living daylights out of Jongdae and he mentally bids his wallet a sad ‘Rest in peace’.
In Joonmyun’s mind, he is smirking with pride at the kicked look Jongdae is sporting. Usually, he’d feel guilty at having tormented a dongsaeng, but he hasn’t had his morning coffee yet. No coffee, no morals. So he doesn’t really care.
They walk down the street, with Jongdae mumbling something along the lines of ‘sneaky evil hyungs’ and ‘I fucking hope he picks some place cheap’ (which makes Joonmyun almost want to pick an expensive place. Almost). As if to answer Jongdae’s prayers (or whatever you classify his mumblings as), Joonmyun spots a convenience store with an ad about a couples discount.
Joonmyun stares at the ad for a few more seconds, reading the details (which isn’t much) and a smirk forms on his lips. His eyes catch on a particular line and he knows his eyes are probably shining with mischievousness because it reads ‘Homosexual is ok’. It doesn’t take long for his mind to come up with a plan. A very evil plan. Usually, he wouldn’t even go as far as to think of something as absurd as this. Usually. But, he mentally shrugs, no coffee means no morals. Poor Jongdae, or maybe not.
“Hey,” Joonmyun begins and Jongdae bristles at his tone, a mix between stopping himself from acting a little too excited and somehow trying to sound as nonchalant as possible. Alarm bells begin ringing in Jongdae’s head. Joonmyun has a hand on his arm as he gently turns Jongdae to face him, or face wherever he’s looking at. “Let’s eat here.” He says and Jongdae gulps whatever he can from his throat at Joonmyun’s tone because it sounds so nonchalant but his eyes are gleaming with a threat that makes Jongdae’s skin crawl.
That is when Jongdae turns his eyes to the ad on the window, where Joonmyun’s finger is strategically pointing. He tries his hardest not to gape at the sight in front of him. Not only does Joonmyun want to eat at a convenience store (and possibly buy their groceries), but this store is offering discounts to couples, inclusive of homosexual couples. Jongdae is stunned, he is stoned beyond belief. He knows, he immediately knows what Joonmyun wants even if he hasn’t said a word.
Jongdae’s throat is dry, but he swallows and asks, “Hyung, you’re not thinking of what I’m thinking you’re thinking, right?” He chuckles nervously. Joonmyun tilts his head a little and looks at him a little too innocently and it’s both cute and irritating and Jongdae knows he’s doomed.
“What do you mean?” Joonmyun asks innocently, matching his innocent look and giving himself a mental pat on the back at his charade because Jongdae has that defeated look on his face.
“Hyung, you’re not saying that you and I –“ Jongdae can’t finish his sentence - he doesn’t even want to finish his train of thought. This whole idea is crazy, weird and gross, and it’s making his skin crawl.
Joonmyun has to give Jongdae credit for catching on so quickly despite the turmoil his inner self seems to be having. He’d expected to have to explain to Jongdae his plans but at least now he can skip the intro. Maybe his roommate isn’t stupid, maybe he’s just useless.
“I am actually.” He replies tone serious and face lacking any signs of joking. “We’re just going to pretend to be a couple, no big deal.” He shrugs as if the idea really does not bother him at all. Jongdae splutters and gapes and Joonmyun kind of takes back the thought that his roommate isn’t stupid. ’He looks pretty stupid right now’, he thinks.
“It’s not like we’re going to have to act as If we’re all over each other. Holding hands is probably enough.” Joonmyun elaborates and Jongdae looks at him like he may have grown two heads. What Jongdae was actually thinking was that maybe his hyung had been replaced by aliens. He entertains that train of thought for a moment and can find no other reasons to attribute his roommate’s sudden change in character to. “We can even say we’re kind of new to this whole thing if anyone asks.” Joonmyun adds and Jongdae continues to splutter because Joonmyun had actually thought that far ahead. He is now beginning to doubt his roommate’s sexuality. He briefly wonders if he should move out soon, and abandons the thought almost immediately because he knows he can’t.
Jongdae tries to ignore the jolt of electricity that runs through his veins as Joonmyun slips his hand into his. He also tries not to shiver as Joonmyun leans in and whispers into his ears, “Relax, act natural.”
Joonmyun watches on with amusement at the way Jongdae reacts to his actions. It makes him want to burst out laughing but he tries to keep a straight face so Jongdae believes without a doubt that he’s serious. He smiles at Jongdae and laces their fingers as they enter the convenience store. He presses closer to Jongdae and mentally smirks as Jongdae stiffens when he whispers, “Remember, you’re treating me.”
Jongdae glares at him in return but his face is so flushed and he looks absolutely flustered that Joonmyun isn’t affected by it at all.
“Welcome to MiMi’s Convenience Store!” The lady by the counter greets rather cheerfully as they step inside. Joonmyun turns to her, smiling as he takes his hand away from Jongdae only to put it snugly at his hip, bringing Jongdae impossibly closer to him. The lady by the counter sucks in a breath. Joonmyun doesn’t miss this as his smile turns into a sort of smirk.
“Hi, good morning, could you please direct us to where we can find the coffee?” Joonmyun asks the lady who seems to be eyeing the hand he has on Jongdae’s hip. Out of the corner of his eye, he can see Jongdae’s flushed face and he mentally pats himself on the back because his plan is working.
“Oh – ah uhm, I’m sorry, what were you saying?” The lady, whose name tag reads MiMi, replies after Joonmyun had tried to gain her attention again.
“Coffee,” Jongdae snaps, “Where’s the stupid coffee?” He finishes, voice cracking slightly at the end of the sentence because Joonmyun is rubbing circles on his hip and it’s making him feel incredibly flustered. He’s not even gay!
MiMi, thankfully, doesn’t notice or pay attention to Jongdae’s outburst, too busy staring at the little show of intimacy that is being shown in front of her.
“Aisle 2,” She mutters, gesturing with her hand but eyes never leaving the hand Joonmyun has on Jongdae’s hip.
“Thanks,” Joonmyun gives her a saccharine smile while Jongdae groans slightly trying to get away from Joonmyun’s exceptionally strong grip.
When they’re tucked away in the aisles, Jongdae yanks Joonmyun’s arm away from his waist. “What the hell was that?” He whispers harshly.
“Keep your voice down!” Joonmyun replies in the same manner. “You’re going to get us caught.”
That shuts Jongdae up because Joonmyun has a point. If MiMi (he’d noticed her name tag as well), were to find them arguing about this right now, they’d be caught and he could say goodbye to the discount, which he admits, that he needs. He purses his lips and regretfully places himself by Joonmyun’s hip. Joonmyun tries not to smile at Jongdae’s immediate obedience.
Joonmyun gathers the rest of the groceries and puts them on the basket he’d ordered Jongdae to get. He makes sure to let their fingers brush against each other, to smile a little more sweetly and act a little more lovingly towards Jongdae. Jongdae tries to imitate or reciprocate but he ends up blushing a lot more than what can be called normal and splutters half the time because he doesn’t exactly know what he’s supposed to do and how he’s supposed to reciprocate in the first place.
‘I’m not gay’, Jongdae tells himself over and over again in his head. It’s a mantra and Joonmyun can almost see the words forming on his forehead. He kind of pities his dongsaeng, just kind of, but if he was to be honest with himself, not really.
When they get to the counter, MiMi has a nice blush on her cheeks and her smile is so wide and bright that it sets Jongdae and Joonmyun off almost immediately. They place their basket on the counter and MiMi begins to take things out without looking at their items, she just continues to creepily smile at them.
“So you’re going to avail yourselves of our couple discount, right?” She begins and Jongdae swears he can see her emitting evil vibes from her pores which make him stick literally to Joonmyun’s side. Joonmyun instinctively wraps a rather protective arm around Jongdae (although he’s not quite sure where the instinct came from).
“Yes, we are. Are we eligible?” Joonmyun tries to joke so he can dispel some of the dread that’s beginning to creep in his bones, and apparently Jongdae’s as well. He feels rather than sees Jongdae gulp as the lady’s eyes begin to shimmer in a new light. Nothing about the look she is giving them is friendly; Joonmyun’s sure he’d describe it as almost predatory.
“Yes, of course!” She replies a little too sweetly as she finishes punching in the groceries. “But first, you have to kiss.”
Joonmyun can sense the jaw that Jongdae is about to drop so he pinches him a little to keep his mouth shut, and they both steel their faces a little. Honestly, neither of them saw this coming.
“Shit, Joonmyun hyung, what are we going to do?” Jongdae hisses in his ear.
Joonmyun’s mind is going into overdrive because he definitely did not want his joke to go this far. So he keeps up his façade and smiles at MiMi a little too sweetly and turns to kiss Jongdae on his temple.
“Wait! Nope, not a kiss on his head!” Mimi says, effectively stopping Joonmyun from planting his lips on Jongdae’s temple. MiMi laughs, an airy sound, and it sends chills down both their spines. “You have to kiss him on the lips!”
“Hyung!” Jongdae whispers harshly as Joonmyun turns to face him. Joonmyun eyes him giving him mental messages of ’Shut up’.
Jongdae responds with his own mental message of ‘Don’t even think about it’ accompanied by ’I’m not doing this, no’.
It doesn’t even occur to them to think about how they are able to understand each other. They spend a few more seconds hissing and muttering to each other about going through the kiss until MiMi clears her throat and says, “Uhm guys, if you don’t kiss, I’m not going to give you the 10% discount.” MiMi pouts a little at the two. “It’s one of the rules so we can prove you guys aren’t just faking it, you know.”
Joonmyun pinches Jongdae on the hips. Jongdae mouths an ‘Ouch’ and soon follows with an irritated ‘What was that for?’.
“It’s just a stupid kiss. You’re not going to lose anything.” He whispers, gripping Jongdae’s arm a little harshly.
“Why are you okay with this? Do you want to kiss me that badly?” That effectively derails Joonmyun’s train of thought because although he’d had thoughts of kissing Jongdae before, he didn’t want to kiss him badly, not really. No, of course not.
“Of course not.” He replies, but it ends out coming out like a question. Jongdae looks at him with wide eyes like he’s trying not to even think about the fact that Joonmyun has thought of kissing him and wants to kiss him badly. Jongdae’s face pales and sweat breaks out on his forehead and he thinks, ‘Shit just got serious.’ Somewhere at the back of his mind, his subconscious is screaming, ‘Run, Jongdae, run as fast as you can!’
Jongdae looks back at MiMi and sees her smiling at them, almost as if she knows they’re going to kiss and this a movie she’s watching and not real life people. It takes almost a second for Jongdae to relent and Joonmyun sighs almost in relief when he does so.
They stare into each other’s eyes for a moment and Joonmyun is sure Jongdae will hear his heart’s rapid beating as he pulls him closer. Jongdae closes his eyes when he realizes Joonmyun’s eyes are captivating and is too close for comfort and Joonmyun gulps nervously.
Joonmyun leans closer and tries not to close his eyes in case he actually misses Jongdae’s lips. When Jongdae feels Joonmyun’s breath ghosting over his face, he can’t help but pull back just a little to avoid the inevitable. Joonmyun tries not to curse at Jongdae’s obvious lack of willingness to cooperate and caresses his cheek to keep his head from moving further away.
It’s all too soon all of a sudden for Jongdae when Joonmyun keeps his head still with his hand and then he can feel soft lips against his own and his mind is running a hundred miles per hour with thoughts of ’Joonmyun hyung’s lips are so soft’ and ’I shouldn’t be liking this too much’.
An involuntary moan escapes Jongdae’s throat as Joonmyun pulls him closer and it sends shivers down Joonmyun’s spine and he can’t help it when he licks at Jongdae’s bottom lip to deepen the kiss. Jongdae gasps at the action and Joonmyun loses it as he thrusts his tongue inside Jongdae’s warm cavern, both hands coming up to steady the younger so he can kiss him properly.
A squeal from MiMi and a shutter sound makes them pull away abruptly and they stare a little dazedly at each other before they look away blushing like they’re a new couple.
“You guys are so adorable!” MiMi coos as she stares at their photo and takes another snapshot of their blushing faces. They’re too out of it to even chastise her. “This is definitely going on the ‘Wall of Fame’.”
She finishes punching in their items and shows them proof of their discount as she begins to babble about how they’re the first gay couple in the convenience store and how they’re so cute and that they must be new to this. But none of them hear because their heads are still in the clouds with the kiss. Joonmyun keeps checking up on Jongdae out of the corner of his eye, eyes going back to his kissed swollen lips and how much he just wants to kiss him again. Jongdae is having a hard time not looking at Joonmyun and the conflicting emotions inside of him because ’I’m supposed to be straight god dammit!’.
“Thank you and come again!” MiMi says happily as Joonmyun mechanically grabs their grocery bag. There’s a moment’s hesitation where he wants to hold on to Jongdae’s hand as they exit and he doesn’t know if it’s ok or if Jongdae will pull away. He tells himself that it’s just for show so MiMi will believe them until the end of their farce as he grabs onto Jongdae’s hand. Surprisingly, Jongdae doesn’t pull away. He just stares at their intertwined fingers for a moment, looks into Joonmyun’s eyes and turns away with a slight blush.
Joonmyun doesn’t let go of Jongdae’s hand all the way home. Suffice to say, he thinks he doesn’t need coffee to be awake now. He berates himself momentarily for his actions, for letting things get out of hand but his subconscious tells him that it’s fine and that he didn’t do anything technically wrong. He could always just tell Jongdae he has a bad habit of losing his morals when he hasn’t had a cup of coffee, yet. The excuse itself made him sound like he was drunk and he kind of wishes he was, because that would be the perfect excuse.
A tightening on his hand tells him that they’re back and he realizes that it was Jongdae’s who’d squeezed his hand. Jongdae clears his throat and says, “Uhm – you can let go of my hand now.”
Reluctantly, Joonmyun lets go. He tries not to stare longingly at the hand that drops back down to Jongdae’s side as they enter their apartment. He closes the door as he tries to come up with something to say, something to dispel the awkwardness between them and when he looks at Jongdae’s back in front of him all thoughts of talking are out. All he wants to do is immerse himself in the feel of Jongdae’s lips back on his own. It doesn’t really surprise him when he blurts out, “Can I kiss you again?”
Except, he doesn’t really wait for Jongdae to give him permission or to even reply, as he grips Jongdae’s forearm and turns him around so he can indulge himself and his thoughts of kissing the younger again. It doesn’t escape his notice that Jongdae doesn’t pull back or push him away, but just willingly lets Joonmyun kiss him.
The kiss lasts a little longer than the one at the convenience store and Jongdae is the one who leans in when Joonmyun pulls away. When they rest their foreheads against each other, and Joonmyun is caressing Jongdae’s cheek, Jongdae whispers with a laugh, “Well, I guess I’m not straight.”
He sighs as he opens the fridge to check if there’s milk; he might as well finish what’s left of the cereal. He finds the carton and grabs it. Once again, the lightness shocks him. He shakes the milk carton and gapes because it’s absolutely empty. He can feel a vein pop in his forehead.
He takes deep breaths to cool down. He doesn’t really want to be angry so early in the morning. Maybe drinking some hot coffee will help, he decides. So he continues his rummaging in the kitchen in search of instant coffee packets, and what he finds instead is the last packet, empty and still on the counter. Joonmyun thinks it’s alright to be angry so early in the morning.
“Kim Jongdae!” He yells. In no time, his roommate appears in their kitchen looking like he’d just woken up. Joonmyun has to stop himself from thinking how adorable his roommate looks right now.
“What?” Jongdae snaps like Joonmyun’s outburst is ruining his day.
“I was okay with you finishing the cereal, the milk or even the coffee, but couldn’t you have at least thrown your trash away?” Joonmyun reprimands, gesturing to the evidence placed on the counter.
Jongdae smirks at him and Joonmyun swears he could’ve punched the younger right there and then. “I know you’d do it, that’s why I didn’t throw them away.”
Joonmyun can feel the vein on his forehead swell as he tries his best not to beat the crap out of Jongdae. ’Deep breaths’, he thinks to himself. He balls his fists and tries his hardest to keep them plastered to his side because Kim Jongdae is asking for it.
“Look,” Joonmyun seethes, “I’m not your mother. I don’t have to look after you. We’re roommates and part of the deal was that you cleaned up after yourself.” Joonmyun takes another deep breath as he steels his gaze on Jongdae. The younger only smirks at him, sipping his cup of coffee like he knows he’s won some kind of game. Joonmyun can’t help wishing for the coffee to suddenly spill all over Jongdae.
“I don’t have to since you do it for me.” Jongdae says confidently. He obviously doesn’t know what kind of situation he’s just put himself in. Joonmyun glares at Jongdae because this may have been caused by his kindness, his need to look after Jongdae because he is younger than him. But Joonmyun is so pissed right now all of his morals are going out the window. He’s angry because he hasn’t had his morning coffee and cereal breakfast and Jongdae is leaving trash all over their kitchen as if to spite him. He exhales a very lengthy and shaky breath; Jongdae is going to get it, and he will make sure Jongdae suffers.
When Joonmyun smirks at Jongdae with that evil glint in his eyes, Jongdae chokes on his coffee. Joonmyun has never ever given him that look before and he realizes he may have just crossed a line.
Joonmyun doesn’t bother waiting for Jongdae to set his coffee down before he pulls him to the bathroom, locks him in and shouts orders for him to take a bath and get dressed. He adds how he’d better hurry or else he will throw away all of Jongdae’s sheet music. Joonmyun’s voice is of utmost seriousness, like he really means it, so Jongdae scrambles to finish his usual hour-long routine in five minutes or less.
Jongdae shuffles out of his room another five minutes (or less) later, his hair dripping wet and marring his light blue shirt with blotches, and sees Joonmyun walking towards the window, holding some of his sheet music. “Shit,” he curses as he rushes to Joonmyun who looks just about as ready as he is.
“Hyung! Hyung!” He calls out holding onto Joonmyun’s wrist to grab a hold of his life that is literally about to be thrown out the window. “I’m done! I’m done. You don’t need to throw these away.” He takes a deep breath, the adrenaline rush he felt at the fear of losing his life slowly dispersing, and takes the stack of papers in Joonmyun’s hands to place them somewhere else, preferably a place where Joonmyun won’t be able to simply take them out and throw them away like that.
“Good.” Joonmyun replies curtly as he tosses Jongdae his wallet. Before Jongdae can even ask him how he’d gotten it, he adds, “You’re buying me breakfast and replacing the coffee, milk and cereal you finished.”
He turns and makes sure Jongdae is following him as he locks the door to their apartment.
The reality of the situation hits Jongdae as Joonmyun walks away from their locked apartment door. His jaw drops to the ground. He doesn’t have the luxury of treating someone as well as buying all the other things Joonmyun had mentioned. He doesn’t have the money and Joonmyun very well knows this. It’s the reason they’re even living together, because they’re poor. How can Joonmyun just carelessly order him like that? He makes a sound to word his protests but Joonmyun cuts him off with that look that scares the living daylights out of Jongdae and he mentally bids his wallet a sad ‘Rest in peace’.
In Joonmyun’s mind, he is smirking with pride at the kicked look Jongdae is sporting. Usually, he’d feel guilty at having tormented a dongsaeng, but he hasn’t had his morning coffee yet. No coffee, no morals. So he doesn’t really care.
They walk down the street, with Jongdae mumbling something along the lines of ‘sneaky evil hyungs’ and ‘I fucking hope he picks some place cheap’ (which makes Joonmyun almost want to pick an expensive place. Almost). As if to answer Jongdae’s prayers (or whatever you classify his mumblings as), Joonmyun spots a convenience store with an ad about a couples discount.
Joonmyun stares at the ad for a few more seconds, reading the details (which isn’t much) and a smirk forms on his lips. His eyes catch on a particular line and he knows his eyes are probably shining with mischievousness because it reads ‘Homosexual is ok’. It doesn’t take long for his mind to come up with a plan. A very evil plan. Usually, he wouldn’t even go as far as to think of something as absurd as this. Usually. But, he mentally shrugs, no coffee means no morals. Poor Jongdae, or maybe not.
“Hey,” Joonmyun begins and Jongdae bristles at his tone, a mix between stopping himself from acting a little too excited and somehow trying to sound as nonchalant as possible. Alarm bells begin ringing in Jongdae’s head. Joonmyun has a hand on his arm as he gently turns Jongdae to face him, or face wherever he’s looking at. “Let’s eat here.” He says and Jongdae gulps whatever he can from his throat at Joonmyun’s tone because it sounds so nonchalant but his eyes are gleaming with a threat that makes Jongdae’s skin crawl.
That is when Jongdae turns his eyes to the ad on the window, where Joonmyun’s finger is strategically pointing. He tries his hardest not to gape at the sight in front of him. Not only does Joonmyun want to eat at a convenience store (and possibly buy their groceries), but this store is offering discounts to couples, inclusive of homosexual couples. Jongdae is stunned, he is stoned beyond belief. He knows, he immediately knows what Joonmyun wants even if he hasn’t said a word.
Jongdae’s throat is dry, but he swallows and asks, “Hyung, you’re not thinking of what I’m thinking you’re thinking, right?” He chuckles nervously. Joonmyun tilts his head a little and looks at him a little too innocently and it’s both cute and irritating and Jongdae knows he’s doomed.
“What do you mean?” Joonmyun asks innocently, matching his innocent look and giving himself a mental pat on the back at his charade because Jongdae has that defeated look on his face.
“Hyung, you’re not saying that you and I –“ Jongdae can’t finish his sentence - he doesn’t even want to finish his train of thought. This whole idea is crazy, weird and gross, and it’s making his skin crawl.
Joonmyun has to give Jongdae credit for catching on so quickly despite the turmoil his inner self seems to be having. He’d expected to have to explain to Jongdae his plans but at least now he can skip the intro. Maybe his roommate isn’t stupid, maybe he’s just useless.
“I am actually.” He replies tone serious and face lacking any signs of joking. “We’re just going to pretend to be a couple, no big deal.” He shrugs as if the idea really does not bother him at all. Jongdae splutters and gapes and Joonmyun kind of takes back the thought that his roommate isn’t stupid. ’He looks pretty stupid right now’, he thinks.
“It’s not like we’re going to have to act as If we’re all over each other. Holding hands is probably enough.” Joonmyun elaborates and Jongdae looks at him like he may have grown two heads. What Jongdae was actually thinking was that maybe his hyung had been replaced by aliens. He entertains that train of thought for a moment and can find no other reasons to attribute his roommate’s sudden change in character to. “We can even say we’re kind of new to this whole thing if anyone asks.” Joonmyun adds and Jongdae continues to splutter because Joonmyun had actually thought that far ahead. He is now beginning to doubt his roommate’s sexuality. He briefly wonders if he should move out soon, and abandons the thought almost immediately because he knows he can’t.
Jongdae tries to ignore the jolt of electricity that runs through his veins as Joonmyun slips his hand into his. He also tries not to shiver as Joonmyun leans in and whispers into his ears, “Relax, act natural.”
Joonmyun watches on with amusement at the way Jongdae reacts to his actions. It makes him want to burst out laughing but he tries to keep a straight face so Jongdae believes without a doubt that he’s serious. He smiles at Jongdae and laces their fingers as they enter the convenience store. He presses closer to Jongdae and mentally smirks as Jongdae stiffens when he whispers, “Remember, you’re treating me.”
Jongdae glares at him in return but his face is so flushed and he looks absolutely flustered that Joonmyun isn’t affected by it at all.
“Welcome to MiMi’s Convenience Store!” The lady by the counter greets rather cheerfully as they step inside. Joonmyun turns to her, smiling as he takes his hand away from Jongdae only to put it snugly at his hip, bringing Jongdae impossibly closer to him. The lady by the counter sucks in a breath. Joonmyun doesn’t miss this as his smile turns into a sort of smirk.
“Hi, good morning, could you please direct us to where we can find the coffee?” Joonmyun asks the lady who seems to be eyeing the hand he has on Jongdae’s hip. Out of the corner of his eye, he can see Jongdae’s flushed face and he mentally pats himself on the back because his plan is working.
“Oh – ah uhm, I’m sorry, what were you saying?” The lady, whose name tag reads MiMi, replies after Joonmyun had tried to gain her attention again.
“Coffee,” Jongdae snaps, “Where’s the stupid coffee?” He finishes, voice cracking slightly at the end of the sentence because Joonmyun is rubbing circles on his hip and it’s making him feel incredibly flustered. He’s not even gay!
MiMi, thankfully, doesn’t notice or pay attention to Jongdae’s outburst, too busy staring at the little show of intimacy that is being shown in front of her.
“Aisle 2,” She mutters, gesturing with her hand but eyes never leaving the hand Joonmyun has on Jongdae’s hip.
“Thanks,” Joonmyun gives her a saccharine smile while Jongdae groans slightly trying to get away from Joonmyun’s exceptionally strong grip.
When they’re tucked away in the aisles, Jongdae yanks Joonmyun’s arm away from his waist. “What the hell was that?” He whispers harshly.
“Keep your voice down!” Joonmyun replies in the same manner. “You’re going to get us caught.”
That shuts Jongdae up because Joonmyun has a point. If MiMi (he’d noticed her name tag as well), were to find them arguing about this right now, they’d be caught and he could say goodbye to the discount, which he admits, that he needs. He purses his lips and regretfully places himself by Joonmyun’s hip. Joonmyun tries not to smile at Jongdae’s immediate obedience.
Joonmyun gathers the rest of the groceries and puts them on the basket he’d ordered Jongdae to get. He makes sure to let their fingers brush against each other, to smile a little more sweetly and act a little more lovingly towards Jongdae. Jongdae tries to imitate or reciprocate but he ends up blushing a lot more than what can be called normal and splutters half the time because he doesn’t exactly know what he’s supposed to do and how he’s supposed to reciprocate in the first place.
‘I’m not gay’, Jongdae tells himself over and over again in his head. It’s a mantra and Joonmyun can almost see the words forming on his forehead. He kind of pities his dongsaeng, just kind of, but if he was to be honest with himself, not really.
When they get to the counter, MiMi has a nice blush on her cheeks and her smile is so wide and bright that it sets Jongdae and Joonmyun off almost immediately. They place their basket on the counter and MiMi begins to take things out without looking at their items, she just continues to creepily smile at them.
“So you’re going to avail yourselves of our couple discount, right?” She begins and Jongdae swears he can see her emitting evil vibes from her pores which make him stick literally to Joonmyun’s side. Joonmyun instinctively wraps a rather protective arm around Jongdae (although he’s not quite sure where the instinct came from).
“Yes, we are. Are we eligible?” Joonmyun tries to joke so he can dispel some of the dread that’s beginning to creep in his bones, and apparently Jongdae’s as well. He feels rather than sees Jongdae gulp as the lady’s eyes begin to shimmer in a new light. Nothing about the look she is giving them is friendly; Joonmyun’s sure he’d describe it as almost predatory.
“Yes, of course!” She replies a little too sweetly as she finishes punching in the groceries. “But first, you have to kiss.”
Joonmyun can sense the jaw that Jongdae is about to drop so he pinches him a little to keep his mouth shut, and they both steel their faces a little. Honestly, neither of them saw this coming.
“Shit, Joonmyun hyung, what are we going to do?” Jongdae hisses in his ear.
Joonmyun’s mind is going into overdrive because he definitely did not want his joke to go this far. So he keeps up his façade and smiles at MiMi a little too sweetly and turns to kiss Jongdae on his temple.
“Wait! Nope, not a kiss on his head!” Mimi says, effectively stopping Joonmyun from planting his lips on Jongdae’s temple. MiMi laughs, an airy sound, and it sends chills down both their spines. “You have to kiss him on the lips!”
“Hyung!” Jongdae whispers harshly as Joonmyun turns to face him. Joonmyun eyes him giving him mental messages of ’Shut up’.
Jongdae responds with his own mental message of ‘Don’t even think about it’ accompanied by ’I’m not doing this, no’.
It doesn’t even occur to them to think about how they are able to understand each other. They spend a few more seconds hissing and muttering to each other about going through the kiss until MiMi clears her throat and says, “Uhm guys, if you don’t kiss, I’m not going to give you the 10% discount.” MiMi pouts a little at the two. “It’s one of the rules so we can prove you guys aren’t just faking it, you know.”
Joonmyun pinches Jongdae on the hips. Jongdae mouths an ‘Ouch’ and soon follows with an irritated ‘What was that for?’.
“It’s just a stupid kiss. You’re not going to lose anything.” He whispers, gripping Jongdae’s arm a little harshly.
“Why are you okay with this? Do you want to kiss me that badly?” That effectively derails Joonmyun’s train of thought because although he’d had thoughts of kissing Jongdae before, he didn’t want to kiss him badly, not really. No, of course not.
“Of course not.” He replies, but it ends out coming out like a question. Jongdae looks at him with wide eyes like he’s trying not to even think about the fact that Joonmyun has thought of kissing him and wants to kiss him badly. Jongdae’s face pales and sweat breaks out on his forehead and he thinks, ‘Shit just got serious.’ Somewhere at the back of his mind, his subconscious is screaming, ‘Run, Jongdae, run as fast as you can!’
Jongdae looks back at MiMi and sees her smiling at them, almost as if she knows they’re going to kiss and this a movie she’s watching and not real life people. It takes almost a second for Jongdae to relent and Joonmyun sighs almost in relief when he does so.
They stare into each other’s eyes for a moment and Joonmyun is sure Jongdae will hear his heart’s rapid beating as he pulls him closer. Jongdae closes his eyes when he realizes Joonmyun’s eyes are captivating and is too close for comfort and Joonmyun gulps nervously.
Joonmyun leans closer and tries not to close his eyes in case he actually misses Jongdae’s lips. When Jongdae feels Joonmyun’s breath ghosting over his face, he can’t help but pull back just a little to avoid the inevitable. Joonmyun tries not to curse at Jongdae’s obvious lack of willingness to cooperate and caresses his cheek to keep his head from moving further away.
It’s all too soon all of a sudden for Jongdae when Joonmyun keeps his head still with his hand and then he can feel soft lips against his own and his mind is running a hundred miles per hour with thoughts of ’Joonmyun hyung’s lips are so soft’ and ’I shouldn’t be liking this too much’.
An involuntary moan escapes Jongdae’s throat as Joonmyun pulls him closer and it sends shivers down Joonmyun’s spine and he can’t help it when he licks at Jongdae’s bottom lip to deepen the kiss. Jongdae gasps at the action and Joonmyun loses it as he thrusts his tongue inside Jongdae’s warm cavern, both hands coming up to steady the younger so he can kiss him properly.
A squeal from MiMi and a shutter sound makes them pull away abruptly and they stare a little dazedly at each other before they look away blushing like they’re a new couple.
“You guys are so adorable!” MiMi coos as she stares at their photo and takes another snapshot of their blushing faces. They’re too out of it to even chastise her. “This is definitely going on the ‘Wall of Fame’.”
She finishes punching in their items and shows them proof of their discount as she begins to babble about how they’re the first gay couple in the convenience store and how they’re so cute and that they must be new to this. But none of them hear because their heads are still in the clouds with the kiss. Joonmyun keeps checking up on Jongdae out of the corner of his eye, eyes going back to his kissed swollen lips and how much he just wants to kiss him again. Jongdae is having a hard time not looking at Joonmyun and the conflicting emotions inside of him because ’I’m supposed to be straight god dammit!’.
“Thank you and come again!” MiMi says happily as Joonmyun mechanically grabs their grocery bag. There’s a moment’s hesitation where he wants to hold on to Jongdae’s hand as they exit and he doesn’t know if it’s ok or if Jongdae will pull away. He tells himself that it’s just for show so MiMi will believe them until the end of their farce as he grabs onto Jongdae’s hand. Surprisingly, Jongdae doesn’t pull away. He just stares at their intertwined fingers for a moment, looks into Joonmyun’s eyes and turns away with a slight blush.
Joonmyun doesn’t let go of Jongdae’s hand all the way home. Suffice to say, he thinks he doesn’t need coffee to be awake now. He berates himself momentarily for his actions, for letting things get out of hand but his subconscious tells him that it’s fine and that he didn’t do anything technically wrong. He could always just tell Jongdae he has a bad habit of losing his morals when he hasn’t had a cup of coffee, yet. The excuse itself made him sound like he was drunk and he kind of wishes he was, because that would be the perfect excuse.
A tightening on his hand tells him that they’re back and he realizes that it was Jongdae’s who’d squeezed his hand. Jongdae clears his throat and says, “Uhm – you can let go of my hand now.”
Reluctantly, Joonmyun lets go. He tries not to stare longingly at the hand that drops back down to Jongdae’s side as they enter their apartment. He closes the door as he tries to come up with something to say, something to dispel the awkwardness between them and when he looks at Jongdae’s back in front of him all thoughts of talking are out. All he wants to do is immerse himself in the feel of Jongdae’s lips back on his own. It doesn’t really surprise him when he blurts out, “Can I kiss you again?”
Except, he doesn’t really wait for Jongdae to give him permission or to even reply, as he grips Jongdae’s forearm and turns him around so he can indulge himself and his thoughts of kissing the younger again. It doesn’t escape his notice that Jongdae doesn’t pull back or push him away, but just willingly lets Joonmyun kiss him.
The kiss lasts a little longer than the one at the convenience store and Jongdae is the one who leans in when Joonmyun pulls away. When they rest their foreheads against each other, and Joonmyun is caressing Jongdae’s cheek, Jongdae whispers with a laugh, “Well, I guess I’m not straight.”
a/n: thanks to
aethernity for betaing for last minute. I don't really require betas for things like these but this was my first public suchen (definitely not the first one I've written) and I felt really insecure about it because it's comedy and I really suck at comedy like there is no comedy in the fibers of my body and stuff and this was suchen so I wanted it to be good but /sighs/. Not only that, I'm also sorry this is OOC but with Joonmyun it's a little justified but I'm still having a hard time characterizing Jongdae tbh but hey the beauty of AU, yes? To ANON: I hope this is ok n_n to the other author who said she'd fill this... I know you're better than me so please do fill it. I suck really. I can't do my OTPs justice. /sobs/
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you wait imma bring up cat!verse and slay you with it properly one dayno subject
waits patiently for the death your kitty!verse will bring meno subject
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you kinda made me wanna giggle like the teenage girl that i am
but i managed to contain all my squeals in ;~;
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you fille my prompt! yeayy o/
and actually, friends call me mimi and it's just like, me, smiling creepily at them to make them kiss lmao
super thanks for filling this, anyway!
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what a nice coincidence then hihi
You're welcome!
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